Dealing with a bulemic mate?
Discussion
I was at the house of a rather good lady friend of mine the other day and given her history of bulemia, I noticed a "residue" in the toilet which was familiar from my own over-boozing experiences. In fact I've noticed it a couple of times. So......She admitted to me that she WAS bulemic and although looks in perfect health, I'm suspicious. I'm not really sure how to approach the subject I figure that it is probably so sensitive that even a soft approach could be in for a massive backlash. She has quite a lot on in her life at the moment.
I suppose it's my duty as a friend to give her support and help as it's no way to go about life.
So, I figure that the PH massive would have some interesting angles, fire away folks.
Stu
I suppose it's my duty as a friend to give her support and help as it's no way to go about life.
So, I figure that the PH massive would have some interesting angles, fire away folks.
Stu
it is hard to deal with, only she/he can sort it out but they do need the support of loved ones. From personal experience I was anorexic from the age of 19 for a few years, then bulimic for 7 years. long term effects on the body aren't good, I realised that I had to tell my partner in order to stop the cycle, (if i was in the loo too long he'd check what I was doing. It got so bad I'd even vomit at work if I felt I had eaten anything fattening) Never told anyone all this, too ashamed and I really feel for your friend. I actually got a shock tonight as I had to visit the doctor and she has just told me I am bordering on anorexic again and I didn't even realise where I was going again.
Its all about taking control of your life when other things are out of control. hopefully you will be able to talk to her, and she will respond, especially if you are a close friend. good luck.
Its all about taking control of your life when other things are out of control. hopefully you will be able to talk to her, and she will respond, especially if you are a close friend. good luck.
She needs to get herself a refferal to a specialist.
Bulimia can often be hidden very easyly as suffers consume large amounts of calories prior to purging, therefore often maintaining a good weight.
There are many side effects such as Erosion of tooth enamel because of repeated exposure to acidic gastric contents.
Dental cavities, sensitivity to hot or cold food.
Swelling and soreness in the salivary glands (from repeated vomiting).
Stomach Ulcers.
Ruptures of the stomach and esophagus.
Abnormal buildup of fluid in the intestines.
Disruption in the normal bowel release function.
Electrolyte imbalance.
Dehydration
Irregular heartbeat and in severe cases heart attack
A greater risk for suicidal behavior
Decrease in libido
I think about 10% of sufferes die from the symptoms.
Bulimia can often be hidden very easyly as suffers consume large amounts of calories prior to purging, therefore often maintaining a good weight.
There are many side effects such as Erosion of tooth enamel because of repeated exposure to acidic gastric contents.
Dental cavities, sensitivity to hot or cold food.
Swelling and soreness in the salivary glands (from repeated vomiting).
Stomach Ulcers.
Ruptures of the stomach and esophagus.
Abnormal buildup of fluid in the intestines.
Disruption in the normal bowel release function.
Electrolyte imbalance.
Dehydration
Irregular heartbeat and in severe cases heart attack
A greater risk for suicidal behavior
Decrease in libido
I think about 10% of sufferes die from the symptoms.
Definitely try to encourage her to see a doctor and get some proper help. The Eating Disorder Association (0845 634 1414 www.edauk.com/) may be able to give her the number for specialists in her area where she can refer herself and talk to other people who suffer from the same problem.
The fact that she's already told you that she has bulimia shows that she does want someone to take notice of this potentially life-threatening condition.
Please don't misconstrue her eating habits for vanity. The opposite is likely to be nearer to the truth.
The fact that she's already told you that she has bulimia shows that she does want someone to take notice of this potentially life-threatening condition.
Please don't misconstrue her eating habits for vanity. The opposite is likely to be nearer to the truth.
The brain is *unbelieveably* skilful at covering up its own weaknesses. Think of Karen Carpenter, whose mind killed her.
IMHO if it's serious then professional help is the only answer, BUT she must first accept there's a problem and want to deal with it. The hardest part is getting them out of denial.
A clinical psychlogist would be my first suggestion; a good GP will refer you (a bad one will prescribe tranquilisers, which are the pharmacological equivalent of religion). I'm not a professional but my guess is that it's a self-image/low self-esteem thing.
Good luck.
IMHO if it's serious then professional help is the only answer, BUT she must first accept there's a problem and want to deal with it. The hardest part is getting them out of denial.
A clinical psychlogist would be my first suggestion; a good GP will refer you (a bad one will prescribe tranquilisers, which are the pharmacological equivalent of religion). I'm not a professional but my guess is that it's a self-image/low self-esteem thing.
Good luck.
Bulimia is more common than you might think. And it's much more psychologically complex than 'being fat'. It's way too tricky for an amateur to deal with.
The most you can do is make it clear that you see her as a separate thing from her illness, and that it's no reflection on her to seek proper help to see the illness off.
Keep reinforcing the fact that you value her as a person and that her illness isn't 'her'. When you have that kind of illness, even tiny reinforcements can be a huge deal. Imagine that she was vomiting because of whooping cough - the vomiting isn't her choice but a symptom of an unseen illness. She'll already be in turmoil because of what her brain/body are making her do - it can only be made worse if she imagines her friends think she's consciously controlling it.
Tricky times. That you've asked for advice indicates that you're sensitive. I'd say she's probably very lucky to have you around
The most you can do is make it clear that you see her as a separate thing from her illness, and that it's no reflection on her to seek proper help to see the illness off.
Keep reinforcing the fact that you value her as a person and that her illness isn't 'her'. When you have that kind of illness, even tiny reinforcements can be a huge deal. Imagine that she was vomiting because of whooping cough - the vomiting isn't her choice but a symptom of an unseen illness. She'll already be in turmoil because of what her brain/body are making her do - it can only be made worse if she imagines her friends think she's consciously controlling it.
Tricky times. That you've asked for advice indicates that you're sensitive. I'd say she's probably very lucky to have you around
Good luck Stu, this is not a situation I would wish to find myself in.
We have a similar but very different situation with a fellow over here. Lovely chap but the bugger just can't stop topping himself about once a fortnight. He then wakes up in a psychological hospital where they ECT him and then send him home.
I feel totally out of my depth in dealing with this and it seems the rest of the community are just resigned to wishing he'd get on with it and make level two.
Desperate times.
All the best
Ex
We have a similar but very different situation with a fellow over here. Lovely chap but the bugger just can't stop topping himself about once a fortnight. He then wakes up in a psychological hospital where they ECT him and then send him home.
I feel totally out of my depth in dealing with this and it seems the rest of the community are just resigned to wishing he'd get on with it and make level two.
Desperate times.
All the best
Ex
Thanks folks, I'll have a word with her and see what she has to say for herself, I suppose that I'll just have to see how it turns out. I think a lot of it is poor self image and lack of support, however I'll see what the deal is, she really is a wonderful person though.
We shall see, in the meantime, thanks for your replies.
stu
We shall see, in the meantime, thanks for your replies.
stu
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