Humor me gang, it took guts...
Discussion
Having told the story without the pic, I thought Id repost after finding the pic this weekend.
One day (bored teenager syndrome) I decided to kit myself out in my grandmothers oldest clobber in order to accompany her and a gaggle of other Old Age Pensioners on an expedition to the local Planetarium.
A disguise was necessary! You had to be over 65 to get the discounted pensioner tickets, and the excursion was only for OAP's only! :hippy:
And so, (after photoshopping my face) I give you... [b]ElderBob!![/b] :bowtie:
[pic]http://www.designfishstudio.com/tvr/ElderBob.jpg[/pic]
My grandmother has dressed to resemble walking carpets for years, never throws anything away, so rummaging through her tat in quest of suitable threads, a fitting string bag, earpiece (which I used) and a becoming walking stick was a doddle.
I had to look down to avoid eye contact keeping my face covered. What I didn’t bank on was having other elderly pensioners grabbing me by the arm, marching me up and down stairs, opening doors and escorting me down the corridors :hehe:
I had to put on a mega stoop to conceal my face and develop an appropriate hobble to compensate for the very large hump in my back (made me look older - the photo really doesnt do the size of the cushion any justice, it was pillow sized!) I was still a foot taller than everyone else though, like the tallest oldest most incapacitated poor soul youd ever laid eyes on. One that didnt talk very much either. I was just introduced to everyone as cousain agnes IIRC.
The bloody cushion I had to jostle up the back of my grandfathers 25 year old moth eaten coat prevented me from reclining in the planetarium chairs though, so I had to sit at the back, and crane my neck sideways, out peeping out of my shawl, straining to see the cieling slideshow :rolleyes:
Feeling braver towards the end, I remember considering the idea of throwing myself down the stairs for max shock factor at one point, but decided against it in the end. What I did do after we'd all been bundled back into the bus and driven home, was leap from the top step of the bus, landing like a ninja at the feet of the very astonished conductor outside. The expression on his face as I slowly looked up into his eyes, grinning... was priceless :rofl:
The things my grandmother did for me :bow: Then again, praps psychosis runs in our bloodline? :scratchchin:
Come on then, some teenaged tomfoolery tales :smash: (bracing myself for no replies, and/or much piss taking!)
One day (bored teenager syndrome) I decided to kit myself out in my grandmothers oldest clobber in order to accompany her and a gaggle of other Old Age Pensioners on an expedition to the local Planetarium.
A disguise was necessary! You had to be over 65 to get the discounted pensioner tickets, and the excursion was only for OAP's only! :hippy:
And so, (after photoshopping my face) I give you... [b]ElderBob!![/b] :bowtie:
[pic]http://www.designfishstudio.com/tvr/ElderBob.jpg[/pic]
My grandmother has dressed to resemble walking carpets for years, never throws anything away, so rummaging through her tat in quest of suitable threads, a fitting string bag, earpiece (which I used) and a becoming walking stick was a doddle.
I had to look down to avoid eye contact keeping my face covered. What I didn’t bank on was having other elderly pensioners grabbing me by the arm, marching me up and down stairs, opening doors and escorting me down the corridors :hehe:
I had to put on a mega stoop to conceal my face and develop an appropriate hobble to compensate for the very large hump in my back (made me look older - the photo really doesnt do the size of the cushion any justice, it was pillow sized!) I was still a foot taller than everyone else though, like the tallest oldest most incapacitated poor soul youd ever laid eyes on. One that didnt talk very much either. I was just introduced to everyone as cousain agnes IIRC.
The bloody cushion I had to jostle up the back of my grandfathers 25 year old moth eaten coat prevented me from reclining in the planetarium chairs though, so I had to sit at the back, and crane my neck sideways, out peeping out of my shawl, straining to see the cieling slideshow :rolleyes:
Feeling braver towards the end, I remember considering the idea of throwing myself down the stairs for max shock factor at one point, but decided against it in the end. What I did do after we'd all been bundled back into the bus and driven home, was leap from the top step of the bus, landing like a ninja at the feet of the very astonished conductor outside. The expression on his face as I slowly looked up into his eyes, grinning... was priceless :rofl:
The things my grandmother did for me :bow: Then again, praps psychosis runs in our bloodline? :scratchchin:
Come on then, some teenaged tomfoolery tales :smash: (bracing myself for no replies, and/or much piss taking!)
cosmoschick said:I thank you both
Bob. You are without doubt the oddest person on PH. And that's a good thing !
I read that as "oldest" which given he lives (IIRC) in Eastbourne is an easy mistake to make!
Except cosmoschick.
So... not really both then afterall, haaHA!
(I had you by the short and curlies for just a second there, didnt I) I cant be the only one here, except the normal people, who led a colourful and adventurous youth, can I cosmos?
A program on radio4 a few days ago (about regional accents and dialects) contained a story about what one newcastle bus driver's friend used to do as a kid.
Apparently he dressed up in his grandmothers clothes 9as an old lady, obviously), and went to the bus-stop with his mates. There they waited until the bus was approaching and then they walked up the road, pushed the "old-lady" into the middle of it and started kicking her in the head. The people waiting at the bus-stop were torn between saving the old lady or missing their bus
. One time the bus driver caught the "old lady" (he knew it was kids) and chased after him! Sounds very funny.
Apparently he dressed up in his grandmothers clothes 9as an old lady, obviously), and went to the bus-stop with his mates. There they waited until the bus was approaching and then they walked up the road, pushed the "old-lady" into the middle of it and started kicking her in the head. The people waiting at the bus-stop were torn between saving the old lady or missing their bus
. One time the bus driver caught the "old lady" (he knew it was kids) and chased after him! Sounds very funny.I like to take advantage of drug addicts, I always seem to get people asking me for drugs for some reason and one day a guy bails me up asking for drugs practially begging me and offering me his jacket and all sorts, normally I ignore them but this guy was in my face and wouldn't accept that I didn't sell drugs. I was feeling devilish so I said 'look I dont have any of drug X but see that guy down there', pointing to a large chap who looked like he wouldn't take any crap. 'he has some I said, but, you have to ask for it the right way.' so drug man asks what is the correct way, so thinking on my feet (not a strong point) I told him to ask for some 'grated turnips' and also told him this guy would pretend he didn't know what he was talking about so he had to ask him 5 times before he would accept the answer. So drug man actually believes all this and thanks me profusely and then zips of to this other fellow. Unfortunately I had to shoot off to a prior engagement but by god I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that little engagement 
Ah so many more prank stories though, one person in particular was a regular victim, some people never learn. I did one particularly ingenious scam when I played a certain prank on this fellow but made him think it was someone else and he fell for it hook line and sinker, and went after this other bloke and they had a huge row blaming each other
absolutely brilliant. I could just about write a book on some of the pranks I've perpetrated.
School camps and sleepovers were the worst though, I cannot sleep without a locked door and unless I'm by myself these days thanks to those days thats the problem with being a practical joker, people have a nasty habit of wanting revenge... 
Speaking of sleep though, I really need some, if your good boys and girls and I get some time to slack off work then I might post a few more tommorrow.
Ah so many more prank stories though, one person in particular was a regular victim, some people never learn. I did one particularly ingenious scam when I played a certain prank on this fellow but made him think it was someone else and he fell for it hook line and sinker, and went after this other bloke and they had a huge row blaming each other
absolutely brilliant. I could just about write a book on some of the pranks I've perpetrated. School camps and sleepovers were the worst though, I cannot sleep without a locked door and unless I'm by myself these days thanks to those days
thats the problem with being a practical joker, people have a nasty habit of wanting revenge... Speaking of sleep though, I really need some, if your good boys and girls and I get some time to slack off work then I might post a few more tommorrow.
R988 said:
I like to take advantage of drug addicts, I always seem to get people asking me for drugs for some reason and one day a guy bails me up asking for drugs practially begging me and offering me his jacket and all sorts, normally I ignore them but this guy was in my face and wouldn't accept that I didn't sell drugs. I was feeling devilish so I said 'look I dont have any of drug X but see that guy down there', pointing to a large chap who looked like he wouldn't take any crap. 'he has some I said, but, you have to ask for it the right way.' so drug man asks what is the correct way, so thinking on my feet (not a strong point) I told him to ask for some 'grated turnips' and also told him this guy would pretend he didn't know what he was talking about so he had to ask him 5 times before he would accept the answer. So drug man actually believes all this and thanks me profusely and then zips of to this other fellow. Unfortunately I had to shoot off to a prior engagement but by god I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that little engagement
...I might post a few more tommorrow.
Quality!!
PMSL! You have to post more tomorrow 
Girlfriend and I went to a pub for a quick bite and beer on Monday, not before Id nipped into the shops to buy some superglue. I chose a table by the pavement where I could glue down a pound coin and enjoy the show whist eating. Its one of the gags Ive not yet pulled off... bloody table had 2000 minature green abhoreal insects running all over it, so we legged it in the end.
Reminds me of a prank we played at the beach. A mate and I on our lunch break often visited the pet store first, then took our food (and a giant sack of birdseed) to a bench on the beach. The embarassing part was empting a sack of grain with 20 odd people watching, in a straight line across the promenade. Once done though, around 100 pigeons would descend, making it impossible for anyone to pass. Oh the reactions, people walking ridgedly eyes batting, trying not to flinch. Others trying (and mostly failing) to scare a path through the birds wide enough to get through. Excellent fun
We also did it with dummy mobile phones - I had a few
We'd put them on the path just by our shoes, close enough to make the phone look like it was probably ours, far away enough to pick up but not without any embarassment or doubt that perhaps the phone was ours. Cue much standing around, confused looks, people just couldnt bring themselves to say "Is that your phone" If they so much as touched it
OI!! Again, hours of fun But not as cool as your grated turnips gag 
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