Discussion
Am I noticing that parents no longer feel able to leave their kids behind when they go out?
We have friends who take their 10 year old everywhere with them, and when adults are at the house the 10 year old is always kept up late to be there, eat with us and sit in on after dinner conversations 9and hog the emote control). Whenever we go out he is in tow. This is despite them having baby sitters if need be. We end up eating at restaurants which allow kids and which suit kids tastes. It is starting to get a bit annoying, but I wondered if this is just the way parents are these days?
We had a similar phenomenon with friends with 2 young kids who they presumed were invited everytime we suggested they came around for dinner. Then they would ring saying they were running late becaause lttle Jessica wouldn't get dressed (she would only wear pink), had been sick, wasn't tired enough, was too tired, had a cough etc. My wife , who is a bit of a cook got realy annoyed when she had worked all day, timed a meal to perfection for them to find they were an hour late and the food was inedible. she couldn't see how important the kids were to the parents and they couldn't see that the kids were ruling their lives, and for that evening ours too.
My own kids have now grown up and gone but when they were small they were allowed to stay up for 30 minutes when we had adult guests in the evening and then they went to bed as usual. If we went out in the evening we got a sitter or if we did take them they stayed overnight with the hosts kids and the usual 30 minute rule applied before they disappeared upstairs. I don't recall ever being involved in my parents night time social life when I was a kid.
Do kids now rule the world and the lives of adults?
We have friends who take their 10 year old everywhere with them, and when adults are at the house the 10 year old is always kept up late to be there, eat with us and sit in on after dinner conversations 9and hog the emote control). Whenever we go out he is in tow. This is despite them having baby sitters if need be. We end up eating at restaurants which allow kids and which suit kids tastes. It is starting to get a bit annoying, but I wondered if this is just the way parents are these days?
We had a similar phenomenon with friends with 2 young kids who they presumed were invited everytime we suggested they came around for dinner. Then they would ring saying they were running late becaause lttle Jessica wouldn't get dressed (she would only wear pink), had been sick, wasn't tired enough, was too tired, had a cough etc. My wife , who is a bit of a cook got realy annoyed when she had worked all day, timed a meal to perfection for them to find they were an hour late and the food was inedible. she couldn't see how important the kids were to the parents and they couldn't see that the kids were ruling their lives, and for that evening ours too.
My own kids have now grown up and gone but when they were small they were allowed to stay up for 30 minutes when we had adult guests in the evening and then they went to bed as usual. If we went out in the evening we got a sitter or if we did take them they stayed overnight with the hosts kids and the usual 30 minute rule applied before they disappeared upstairs. I don't recall ever being involved in my parents night time social life when I was a kid.
Do kids now rule the world and the lives of adults?
It's a thin line I think shirepro.
They still have to be children, and not hog tv remotes, but still have to be part of the family. My wife is portuguese and in my view they have a very good attitude to children, who go out with parents, eat out a lot later, and generally are not as brattish as the majority here.
Mind you, if my wife and I are invited to a dinner party etc, we wouldn't dream of taking out 2 and 7 year olds.
2 year old in bed by 19.00 and 7 year old by 20.00 without fail.
They still have to be children, and not hog tv remotes, but still have to be part of the family. My wife is portuguese and in my view they have a very good attitude to children, who go out with parents, eat out a lot later, and generally are not as brattish as the majority here.
Mind you, if my wife and I are invited to a dinner party etc, we wouldn't dream of taking out 2 and 7 year olds.
2 year old in bed by 19.00 and 7 year old by 20.00 without fail.
Sadly, yes. I'm beginning to think that modern parents must have felt they were treated harshly by their own parents and massively over-compensate to allow their kids to do all the things they would have liked to have done themselves.
I see little kids absolutely dropping on their feet so their parents can stay out late. Parents just don't seem to be able to say no. No wonder they think they can do what they like.
I see little kids absolutely dropping on their feet so their parents can stay out late. Parents just don't seem to be able to say no. No wonder they think they can do what they like.
I'm starting to give my two more responsibility, they can now stay in the house while we pop to the shops or we'll allow them to play out for longer/further away but my kids are constantly having to go to their friends as they are not allowed beyond the boundaries of thier own home.
I just can't understand why some parents restrict their offsprings movements and why they have to be in visual range at all times. It's just a lazy way of parenting, it's easy to just drag them along with you, but very hard to instill responsibility and for you to trust their actions alone.
I just can't understand why some parents restrict their offsprings movements and why they have to be in visual range at all times. It's just a lazy way of parenting, it's easy to just drag them along with you, but very hard to instill responsibility and for you to trust their actions alone.
Byff said:
I just can't understand why some parents restrict their offsprings movements and why they have to be in visual range at all times. It's just a lazy way of parenting, it's easy to just drag them along with you, but very hard to instill responsibility and for you to trust their actions alone.
Byff, I tend to disagree with this.
I am aware of many parents who just kick the kids out in the morning so that they don't have to put up with them all day and can do what they want without any regard for their kids.
Consequently, many of their kids are unruly and very disrespectful.
There were many families like this where we used to live and it was a nice area but all younger families and we had problems with the kids cycling around our drive and playing footbal around our cars (on our drive) and even cricket with a proper cricket ball, consequently several cars were damaged, plants in our front garden were trampled on. One lad was little more than a toddler and his parents pushed him out on his little trike at 8am in the morning and left him out all day long, he was so used to talking to different folks that he'd talk to anyone and he could easily have been taken by someone, or even the other older kids. The older kids even hung somebodies cat from the iron railings. As the saying goes "The devils makes work for idle hands".
I value my property and it didn't make evenings very relaxing when cricket balls came thudding into and denting the garage door whilst we were trying to relax after a day at work. We were constantly asking them not to play cricket and other ball games in the road and near our cars.
We moved last year to an expensive house £350K+ and our neighbours are more mature and it is much quieter but we still have one neighbour who's kids are left to get on with it and do their own thing. The parents went on holiday this week and left their daughter on her own and her boyfriend came over and they were arguing in the garden (loudly) until nearly 2am .....effing this, effing that, "effing c*nt, you treat me like sh1t an I always have you back"
Jeeze, she had her 16th birthday a few months ago!
That was another time when we had problems, beer bottle thrown over the trees that devide our boundary and a dent in the car bonnet, cigarette ends thrown over into the drive constantly and this is just the kids.
In contrast to this, our other closest neighbours have just one son (they are both teachers) and their son is such a nice lad, so polite, never swears, he helps with gardening and shopping but he still has friends to stay and his parents drop him off at his friends too.
Sorry but I know who I think are the better and more responsible parents.
You seem to have forgot the one important word in my statement - responsibility.
I've taught my two to be polite, respect other people's property and generally, how to behave themselves. A balanced attitude to raising your kids is the only way to bring them up. Teach them right from wrong, then let them have some freedom to put into practice what the've been taught.
Some of my kids freinds are downright cheeky and I do wonder how they've been brought up. It seems to me that you either get parents that keep a short chain on the kids and restrict them in every way or you'll get parents that just kick them out into the street. To do one or the other is wrong in my opinion and smacks of lack of parenting skills, good parents will have a good balance.
I've taught my two to be polite, respect other people's property and generally, how to behave themselves. A balanced attitude to raising your kids is the only way to bring them up. Teach them right from wrong, then let them have some freedom to put into practice what the've been taught.
Some of my kids freinds are downright cheeky and I do wonder how they've been brought up. It seems to me that you either get parents that keep a short chain on the kids and restrict them in every way or you'll get parents that just kick them out into the street. To do one or the other is wrong in my opinion and smacks of lack of parenting skills, good parents will have a good balance.
shirepro said:
Am I noticing that parents no longer feel able to leave their kids behind when they go out?
Hi, may i just say that being a mother of two myself(6 & 3 months) that maybe some parents may find it hard to leave thier children in the hands of babysitters because of the fact that can they really trust them!Im lucky i have sisters that are always wanting to babysit and often argue over who is going to have them for the evening,but when one of them does have them for the evening,i find myself reminding them to do this and do that, even though i know that they are quite capable looking after my treasured ones.
My point is, do parents really know the babysitter as well as they think?
I have two young kids (7 months and 2.5 years old). Goes without saying, love the pair of them to bits & hate not seeing them for any amount of time. But if we're invited to meals out in restaurants, around friends etc etc im only too happy to leave them with family babysitters. Its time off for the wife & i to enjoy each others company for a small while; kind of a small break from the norm.
I also really dont understand why people get so offended when they're invited to weddings without their kids. I think the whole problem lies with molly-coddling youngsters too much. You can still keep your kids safe without smothering them with too much love!
I also really dont understand why people get so offended when they're invited to weddings without their kids. I think the whole problem lies with molly-coddling youngsters too much. You can still keep your kids safe without smothering them with too much love!
vixpy1 said:
Now.. Kids in Pubs.. Don't even get me started
I remember when I worked in a pub years ago, they had a rule that kids were only allowed in the conservatory (away from the bar, you see).
A good idea in theory, but what the landlord didn't count on were the obnoxious, foulmouthed parents who shoved their kids in the conservatory while they sat right at the other end of the pub getting pissed with thier mates. Nice example to set - NOT!
Some interesting posts here. We have a four and a two year old that we actively try and include in all our activities, social and otherwise. It's not because we want to keep them safe or molly coddle them. It's quite the opposite, we think its important for them to experience many aspects of day to day life and we have no desire to exclude them from this or give them too sheltered an upbringing. How else are they to become well adjusted adults?
I've included my sprogs in many activities, they accompanied me to collect my Porsche. This was a very important occasion for Daddy, so not something I would choose to do without the family. Also, the older sprog appreciates that Daddy had to work hard and earn money before he could buy his toy. She also understands that when buying a car you have it inspected first and all the little problems fixed before you part with your money.
The above is just an example. My wife and I both work so our children are exposed to other children and adults on weekdays at Nursery. We use a baby sitter on the rare occasions we choose to go out without them. They are extremely hard work but most of the time we delight in their company. We don't impose them on other people. However, if people get offended if I decline an invitation because it doesn't include my kids, then that's thier problem.
Not surprisingly we tend to socialise with friends that also have children.
My children are well disciplined, they go to bed on time and clear up after themselves. They have also learned valuable social skills and how to give and receive hospitality.
pp
I've included my sprogs in many activities, they accompanied me to collect my Porsche. This was a very important occasion for Daddy, so not something I would choose to do without the family. Also, the older sprog appreciates that Daddy had to work hard and earn money before he could buy his toy. She also understands that when buying a car you have it inspected first and all the little problems fixed before you part with your money.
The above is just an example. My wife and I both work so our children are exposed to other children and adults on weekdays at Nursery. We use a baby sitter on the rare occasions we choose to go out without them. They are extremely hard work but most of the time we delight in their company. We don't impose them on other people. However, if people get offended if I decline an invitation because it doesn't include my kids, then that's thier problem.
Not surprisingly we tend to socialise with friends that also have children.
My children are well disciplined, they go to bed on time and clear up after themselves. They have also learned valuable social skills and how to give and receive hospitality.
pp
) babysitter, while my parents went out for the evening.
The attitude to kids in restaurants in the UK is muh worse than it is on the continent. AS the oldest of my parents three kids... I remember when we lived in Rome and subsequent trips to Italy... the waiters and customers in the restaurant were all pleased to see me and my two younger brothers... made a special attmept to keep us entertained... in the area where I lived each time we went into the bakery with our mum we used to get a free piece of pizza bianca each.
The same sort of attitude was never displayed by the passengers in business class when my parents boarded the plane and sat down next to them with a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 2 year old
the UK is much less tolerant of children in public than other countries.
The same sort of attitude was never displayed by the passengers in business class when my parents boarded the plane and sat down next to them with a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 2 year old
the UK is much less tolerant of children in public than other countries.
Weird thing - I have never wanted children - always thought couldn't stand them although people have often said that I am really good with kids (probably because I have never grown up myself).
Only realised a short while ago that it is not actually children I despise but parents - especially new parents who are totally fixated by their offspring and as boring as hell.
Still no regrets about not having children tho'
Only realised a short while ago that it is not actually children I despise but parents - especially new parents who are totally fixated by their offspring and as boring as hell.
Still no regrets about not having children tho'
I was leaning against the bar and it was late at night!!!!cinque said:
I also really dont understand why people get so offended when they're invited to weddings without their kids.
Totally with you on this one. If I got married, kids under a certain age definitely would not be welcome at the ceremony. I would provide a creche for them instead!
My sister in law is a prime example of why people should leave the kids with other people occasionally. She never allows her to interact with other children and as a result she's really anti-social and goes mental if anyone else goes near her.
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