Masturbation Expert Session Specialist (MESS)

[UKBob]

No no, not for me you fools ;)

In the last couple of years, I read somewhere that (was it the germans?) a country was recruiting masturbation session specialists whose job it was to bring people to orgasm. I dont remember the details, but the people were patients of some kind IIRC, and unable to climax by themselves, and were equally unlikely to meet partners. Whether because they were disabled, amputees, I dont recall, seem to recall that it was a NHS type scheme, anyone remember the details?

[MKGriff]

It sounds like a Guardian advert to me, probably next to the 'lesbian walk to school coordinator'

[shadytree]

97p a litre I've heard....


oh no wrong thread

[chim_knee]

They're called Tease-It-Out-patients.

[AlexH]

Yeah I think I remember reading about that...can't find the number right now though, think I left it on the wall in a central London phone booth...

[NUTSKIE..]

The last time I went to hospital it took them 4 hours to get around to treating a rugby injury to my leg

.....imagine the waiting time to take advantage of this !!

I wonder if you can "go private" ?

[AlexH]

If they had a whole ward of people they could always borrow a milking machine from the local dairy...

[shadytree]

sounds a load of bo***cks to me !

[UKBob]

And to think that I expected a sensible answer from one of you

Who was it then, the German NHS equivalent? Praps it was the training staff who taught them how to lay towles down on loungers.

[NUTSKIE..]

Imagine the worry you would cause if you went in with a simple eye infection and word got round.....!!

[cosmoschick]

UKBob said:

No no, not for me you fools

Yeah, yeah. We believe you, although thousands wouldn't!

[timmy30]

NUTSKIE.. said:

Imagine the worry you would cause if you went in with a simple eye infection and word got round.....!!

I presume that they at least provide safety goggles?

[UKBob]

cosmoschick said:

UKBob said: No no, not for me you fools Yeah, yeah. We believe you, although thousands wouldn't!

If I wanted your attention, I would have tweaked your nipple

[turbobloke]

UKBob said:

cosmoschick said: UKBob said: No no, not for me you fools Yeah, yeah. We believe you, although thousands wouldn't! If I wanted your attention, I would have tweaked your nipple

NHS or Private

[UKBob]

turbobloke said:

UKBob said: cosmoschick said: UKBob said: No no, not for me you fools Yeah, yeah. We believe you, although thousands wouldn't! If I wanted your attention, I would have tweaked your nipple NHS or Private

Someone pass cosmos the signup forms

[nonegreen]

Fast relief, through zis door pleaze zey are only showers.

[cosmoschick]

turbobloke said:

NHS or Private

Private, please. In my experience, you're not kept waiting and the examination is more thorough.

[vixpy1]

Ah, but what kind of curtains do they have?

[UKBob]

cosmoschick said:

turbobloke said: NHS or Private Private, please. In my experience, you're not kept waiting and the examination is more thorough.

[New-'British-indian'-voice]I will see to it that my prosthetic is longer than your wait, I will wait for you to call me Dr Bob when you are ready for me to come inside your personal space.[/indian-voice]

[AlexH]

vixpy1 said:

Ah, but what kind of curtains do they have?

Beef.