Slapping attempt fails. :p
Discussion
Kid bro out and about on the mountain bike last night, pedalling up a long hill on the pavement (its safer!) confronted by the sight of mixed group of 8 (count em) chavvy types spilling out of a pub at around 10ish.
Kid bro decides to cross busy main road to avoid the situation that he correctly interpreted as about to happen.
Asian half cast bitch with a mobile says to the "alpha male" chav (is their such a thing???) "you gonna do it then? Im ready."
At which point 2 of the "we're well ard" chavs run at bro and attempt a swing at him. Presumably to video the result and/or to nick his bike.
Chavs booze fuelled slap attempt (its really a premeditated assault) goes badly off target as bro hooks the gear and out drags our piss stained baggied "heroes".
Cue much swearing and yelling from enraged chav slags with a short pursuit and final deafeat at the top of the hill.:D
Bro then gives em some lingo back enraging the aforementioned "shite-i-just-trod-in" leading to another short an muchly out of breath (for them) failed persuit.
As if thats not enough excitement for one night, he then had (get this) a couple of middle aged folks throwing stuff out the car window at him and shouting.
Question: Whats wrong with the people in this dive?
Are they all completely brainshot or what?
I kid you not, in Italy i never once felt threatened not bloody once, even on the metro system jammed in like sardines i was completely at ease.
Anyway, back to last night. Went out in the car to do a little chav hunting but by the time we got there theyd already dispersed, presumably to go pick on a 4 year old or someone they could be assured of "having".
All i can say is this: If itd been a smaller group of say 3, or id been with him as often we go together, the outcome would have been 8-0 and no chavs standing, but they always attack in groups cos theyre chinkenshit pussy assholes...(apologies to Teds swearfilter and those of an easily offended nature, but the words do fit the occasion).
To be continued.....
Kid bro decides to cross busy main road to avoid the situation that he correctly interpreted as about to happen.
Asian half cast bitch with a mobile says to the "alpha male" chav (is their such a thing???) "you gonna do it then? Im ready."
At which point 2 of the "we're well ard" chavs run at bro and attempt a swing at him. Presumably to video the result and/or to nick his bike.
Chavs booze fuelled slap attempt (its really a premeditated assault) goes badly off target as bro hooks the gear and out drags our piss stained baggied "heroes".
Cue much swearing and yelling from enraged chav slags with a short pursuit and final deafeat at the top of the hill.:D
Bro then gives em some lingo back enraging the aforementioned "shite-i-just-trod-in" leading to another short an muchly out of breath (for them) failed persuit.
As if thats not enough excitement for one night, he then had (get this) a couple of middle aged folks throwing stuff out the car window at him and shouting.
Question: Whats wrong with the people in this dive?
Are they all completely brainshot or what?
I kid you not, in Italy i never once felt threatened not bloody once, even on the metro system jammed in like sardines i was completely at ease.
Anyway, back to last night. Went out in the car to do a little chav hunting but by the time we got there theyd already dispersed, presumably to go pick on a 4 year old or someone they could be assured of "having".
All i can say is this: If itd been a smaller group of say 3, or id been with him as often we go together, the outcome would have been 8-0 and no chavs standing, but they always attack in groups cos theyre chinkenshit pussy assholes...(apologies to Teds swearfilter and those of an easily offended nature, but the words do fit the occasion).
To be continued.....
Why are people acting as if this is a new phenomona, this kind of thing happened all the time when i was a kid, 10-15 years ago (minus the camera phones). I did live on a sink estate though, maybe its spreading to more 'safer' areas.
The only language these inbreds understand is violence unfortunately.. happy hunting.
>> Edited by scorp on Tuesday 28th June 11:25
The only language these inbreds understand is violence unfortunately.. happy hunting.
>> Edited by scorp on Tuesday 28th June 11:25
Excellent story 
I have a rather amusing mental image of the chavs running out of breath and sweating profusely into their hackett tops!
I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
I have a rather amusing mental image of the chavs running out of breath and sweating profusely into their hackett tops! I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
Munter said:
I trust you reported it to the plod.
Ok we all know they will do nothing about this one event. But if nobody reports anything it look slike theres no problem. Therefore you get no police. If you do report everything then it messes up their statistics and they'll want to fix that...
Quite right. You should always report every crime, otherwise the government of the day gets away with claiming lower figures.
WingChunDave said:
I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
and after that I'm going for the one pointing the camera.....
WingChunDave, we 'park our cars in the same garage' 
t"WingChunDave said:.. and if it's a free fight, count me in too! (If not, can I buy a spectator ticket?)
I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
Oli.
zcacogp said:
Raify said:
I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
.. and if it's a free fight, count me in too! (If not, can I buy a spectator ticket?)
Oli.
You could always stand and video it on your phone and show it to all your fellow Pistonheaders for their delight and pleasure!
mrs trackside said:
WingChunDave said:
Raify said:
I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
.. and if it's a free fight, count me in too! (If not, can I buy a spectator ticket?)
Oli.
You could always stand and video it on your phone and show it to all your fellow Pistonheaders for their delight and pleasure!
New sport then, Chavsmacking! Ill just go get me camcorder....
Always satisfying to flatten a Chav.
Mates little girl was on a school trip the other day, and got split from her friends and put on the coach with some older kids... She's 14
Load of Pikey girls at the back of the coach start throwing stuff at her and word gets back that they will wait for her and 'jump' her after school.
Where were the teachers? Down the front of the bus having a chat and completely oblivious, instead of spread around like they should have been.
So, my mates daughter decides she will get in first... so turns round and say's 'Keep doing that and i'll have to hit you'
Obviously this riles the Chavscum pikey birds! so after a few more threats she gets up and makes her way to the back of the coach! theres 11 of them up there... easy pickings you might say!
Nope, she's an amateur Kick Boxing Champion... 3 broken noses later its all over!
She's now in loads of trouble at school but still, absolutely classic!
Mates little girl was on a school trip the other day, and got split from her friends and put on the coach with some older kids... She's 14
Load of Pikey girls at the back of the coach start throwing stuff at her and word gets back that they will wait for her and 'jump' her after school.
Where were the teachers? Down the front of the bus having a chat and completely oblivious, instead of spread around like they should have been.
So, my mates daughter decides she will get in first... so turns round and say's 'Keep doing that and i'll have to hit you'
Obviously this riles the Chavscum pikey birds! so after a few more threats she gets up and makes her way to the back of the coach! theres 11 of them up there... easy pickings you might say!
Nope, she's an amateur Kick Boxing Champion... 3 broken noses later its all over!
She's now in loads of trouble at school but still, absolutely classic!
KingRichard said:
Always satisfying to flatten a Chav.
Mates little girl was on a school trip the other day, and got split from her friends and put on the coach with some older kids... She's 14
Load of Pikey girls at the back of the coach start throwing stuff at her and word gets back that they will wait for her and 'jump' her after school.
Where were the teachers? Down the front of the bus having a chat and completely oblivious, instead of spread around like they should have been.
So, my mates daughter decides she will get in first... so turns round and say's 'Keep doing that and i'll have to hit you'
Obviously this riles the Chavscum pikey birds! so after a few more threats she gets up and makes her way to the back of the coach! theres 11 of them up there... easy pickings you might say!
Nope, she's an amateur Kick Boxing Champion... 3 broken noses later its all over!
She's now in loads of trouble at school but still, absolutely classic!
Likely to be an expulsion for that level of assault.
mrs trackside said:
WingChunDave said:
Raify said:
I really want someone to try this on me! I so rarely get a chance to hit anyone 'full contact' I would really enjoy chinning the first happy slapper that came my way...
.. and if it's a free fight, count me in too! (If not, can I buy a spectator ticket?)
Oli.
You could always stand and video it on your phone and show it to all your fellow Pistonheaders for their delight and pleasure!
brilliant, its amazing how this comment went over everybody's head
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