50 ways to leave your lover
Discussion
Must be the mood I am in today - got to thinking about ways that the PH collective may have left a lover previously?
Nothing to be proud of here - but it happens.
I dumped a g/f once on a flight home from Ibiza. She was lucky to get a lift back home from the airport..!
I dumped another g/f once after getting out of bed at 03:30am, getting dressed and driving home - leaving her doorkey on the kitchen table.
And I dumped my immediate past ex because I hated her Mother with a vengence. (When you look at a girl, always check out her Mother to see what you'll be living with in 30 years time...) Jeeze...
Nothing to be proud of here - but it happens.
I dumped a g/f once on a flight home from Ibiza. She was lucky to get a lift back home from the airport..!
I dumped another g/f once after getting out of bed at 03:30am, getting dressed and driving home - leaving her doorkey on the kitchen table.
And I dumped my immediate past ex because I hated her Mother with a vengence. (When you look at a girl, always check out her Mother to see what you'll be living with in 30 years time...) Jeeze...
Gazboy said:
.
And I dumped my immediate past ex because I hated her Mother with a vengence. (When you look at a girl, always check out her Mother to see what you'll be living with in 30 years time...) Jeeze...
My mum has two sisters- the three of them are totaly different in pretty much every way, only one can end up like Gran, so that argument falls on it's face.
Were we separated at birth?
love machine said:
I could divulge some real beauties but it would just offend the PH-Females, so for you old prudes, I shall keep quiet.
Having read your threads/posts on the subject of relationships, I think I speak for a large chunk of us other PHers when I say:
Spill the beans, chap.
unrepentant said:
With a large bunch of red roses and a heartfelt protestation that it was all my fault and she was completely blameless and far too good for me.
...ahhh, the old faithful "It's not you, it's me" routine. Think there was a whole episode of Seinfeld dedicated to this one.....
Sadly the emoticon contains a swearword in its description. It was apt though.
Anyway, back on topic.
My mate who's girlfriend I referred to in another thread was dumped by a previous boyfriend, he couldn't give her the hint so he told her he had a brain tumour she still didn't get the hint and so he went on a really big holiday.
I had a stalker once who was onto a good thing and knew it. Hence she was really hard to put off, in the end, I got fed up with her notes and dragged her back to my pit after a skinful. I was so drunk I could only see out of one eye and she was stone cold sober. Anyway, after an "attempt" at being the love machine, I passed out. It made her more keen than ever. She was a bit of a minger and she bent my flimsy desk by sitting on it
I also had the most curious stench which I could not get rid of tried washing with fairy liquid, that didn't work, in the end resorted to lab solvents and detergents.
I had also tried telling her I was gay and that I wasn't over my ex-girlfriend. That figures a few times.
An ex-girlfriend found my porn stash which was pretty funny. That could have been a dumping offence, it just made her considerably more mucky. Result
I had an absolute show stopper at uni, I was around at my ex-girlfriends pad and her fat-mate along with some chums, started a conversation about sexual fantasies. Of course, I was keeping very quiet, but they asked "Stuart, You are keeping very quiet, what is your such and such". Of course, I was caught on the spot and all of a sudden I knew no lies :0 I discussed a rather sordid scenario involving my girlfriend and her sister as well as some other depraved stuff. It silenced the whole room, the bird looked destroyed, I said "Well, you wanted the truth....." that finished that.
Another one which worked for me was:-
GF- "I'm so fat, I weigh 12 stone"
ME- "You're not fat, you're just a big girl"
I was being nice but she misinterpreted me.
To be quite honest, I should have stuck to the chat up "scams" thread as I have many more funnies of those.
Anyway, back on topic.
My mate who's girlfriend I referred to in another thread was dumped by a previous boyfriend, he couldn't give her the hint so he told her he had a brain tumour
she still didn't get the hint and so he went on a really big holiday. I had a stalker once who was onto a good thing and knew it. Hence she was really hard to put off, in the end, I got fed up with her notes and dragged her back to my pit after a skinful. I was so drunk I could only see out of one eye and she was stone cold sober. Anyway, after an "attempt" at being the love machine, I passed out. It made her more keen than ever. She was a bit of a minger and she bent my flimsy desk by sitting on it
I also had the most curious stench which I could not get rid of tried washing with fairy liquid, that didn't work, in the end resorted to lab solvents and detergents. I had also tried telling her I was gay and that I wasn't over my ex-girlfriend. That figures a few times.
An ex-girlfriend found my porn stash which was pretty funny. That could have been a dumping offence, it just made her considerably more mucky. Result
I had an absolute show stopper at uni, I was around at my ex-girlfriends pad and her fat-mate
along with some chums, started a conversation about sexual fantasies. Of course, I was keeping very quiet, but they asked "Stuart, You are keeping very quiet, what is your such and such". Of course, I was caught on the spot and all of a sudden I knew no lies :0 I discussed a rather sordid scenario involving my girlfriend and her sister as well as some other depraved stuff. It silenced the whole room, the bird looked destroyed, I said "Well, you wanted the truth....." that finished that. Another one which worked for me was:-
GF- "I'm so fat, I weigh 12 stone"
ME- "You're not fat, you're just a big girl"
I was being nice but she misinterpreted me.
To be quite honest, I should have stuck to the chat up "scams" thread as I have many more funnies of those.
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