Danger! Incoming rant
Discussion
And it's a long one, I'll warn you in advance.
I'd been sated with Christmas cheer over the last few days, and having timed my annual viewing of OHMSS to coincide with the repeat of Top Gear last night, I was looking forward to some late-night Clarksonisms.
Then Trinny and Susannah turned up and made me want to kill them in a horribly slow and painful fashion.
OK here goes:
Why is a sports car always supposed to be indicative of some kind of crisis? Why is it that if you buy one in your twenties it's a penis extension, if you buy one in your thirties you're desperately on the pull, if you buy one in your forties it's a mid-life crisis and if you buy one any older than that you're a creepy old man after teenage girls.
Why does it never occur to these people that you actually might have a sports car because you like driving it? IMO cars and clothes go hand in hand in terms of appreciation of style, but clothes have more to say about personal 'crises' than cars ever could.
When they went on about driving Rovers and Audis, then had the gall to criticise Clarkson's choice of clothes I nearly went nuclear. Firstly, if everyone dressed according to their advice we'd look like a planet of clones. But what annoyed me further was the fact that, even if you have no interest in cars and see them as white goods, you have no grounds on which to criticise good-looking, sporty cars.
Why? OK, lets compare them to other white goods you may have. Would you deliberately buy a pig-ugly fridge-freezer that looks out of place in everywhere except the showroom? No. And how can you complain that a sports car is unnecessary when you have a widescreen colour TV? Surely a B&W portable set manifests the programmes in its own way and costs less to licence, so why criticise a car that goes faster than the motorway limit and accelerates with a sense of urgency? Even the white goods argument doesn't excuse the slagging-off sports cars get.
So next time someone has a go at your sports car, ask them what they've got in their kitchen.
Seriously, see what kind of cooking facilities they have. They'll doubtlessly have a four-ring hob, a multi-tier oven, a grille, a microwave, a sandwich-grill, a toaster and so on.
Then you can really lay into them - why bother with all of that when you can do it all on a Baby Belling? Seriously, given enough run-up, most food can be cooked in an oven. Sure, you won't be able to do anything fancy, but that would appear to be your philosophy on life. If you use the 'unnecessary' argument against sports cars why aren't you living on gruel and water? Just make sure they admit they like nice food and you've got them in a corner.
Following their argument, such things as wallpaper, baths, hi-fi systems and gardens seem like pointless and expensive fripperies that should be avoided in the endless quest to save money (what, precisely, are you saving for with that attitude?).
If you are so deeply affected by someone driving a nice-looking, snappy-handling, fast car but can only disguise your jealousy with either a miserable bare-bones utilitarian argument or a load of pointless-hidden-meaning-seeking-post-modern-ironic-Freudian-sexual-bullshit, either keep your nose out, or buy one and try it - shock, horror, you might like it.
Rant over. Sorry, had to get it off my chest...
I'd been sated with Christmas cheer over the last few days, and having timed my annual viewing of OHMSS to coincide with the repeat of Top Gear last night, I was looking forward to some late-night Clarksonisms.
Then Trinny and Susannah turned up and made me want to kill them in a horribly slow and painful fashion.
OK here goes:
Why is a sports car always supposed to be indicative of some kind of crisis? Why is it that if you buy one in your twenties it's a penis extension, if you buy one in your thirties you're desperately on the pull, if you buy one in your forties it's a mid-life crisis and if you buy one any older than that you're a creepy old man after teenage girls.
Why does it never occur to these people that you actually might have a sports car because you like driving it? IMO cars and clothes go hand in hand in terms of appreciation of style, but clothes have more to say about personal 'crises' than cars ever could.
When they went on about driving Rovers and Audis, then had the gall to criticise Clarkson's choice of clothes I nearly went nuclear. Firstly, if everyone dressed according to their advice we'd look like a planet of clones. But what annoyed me further was the fact that, even if you have no interest in cars and see them as white goods, you have no grounds on which to criticise good-looking, sporty cars.
Why? OK, lets compare them to other white goods you may have. Would you deliberately buy a pig-ugly fridge-freezer that looks out of place in everywhere except the showroom? No. And how can you complain that a sports car is unnecessary when you have a widescreen colour TV? Surely a B&W portable set manifests the programmes in its own way and costs less to licence, so why criticise a car that goes faster than the motorway limit and accelerates with a sense of urgency? Even the white goods argument doesn't excuse the slagging-off sports cars get.
So next time someone has a go at your sports car, ask them what they've got in their kitchen.
Seriously, see what kind of cooking facilities they have. They'll doubtlessly have a four-ring hob, a multi-tier oven, a grille, a microwave, a sandwich-grill, a toaster and so on.
Then you can really lay into them - why bother with all of that when you can do it all on a Baby Belling? Seriously, given enough run-up, most food can be cooked in an oven. Sure, you won't be able to do anything fancy, but that would appear to be your philosophy on life. If you use the 'unnecessary' argument against sports cars why aren't you living on gruel and water? Just make sure they admit they like nice food and you've got them in a corner.
Following their argument, such things as wallpaper, baths, hi-fi systems and gardens seem like pointless and expensive fripperies that should be avoided in the endless quest to save money (what, precisely, are you saving for with that attitude?).
If you are so deeply affected by someone driving a nice-looking, snappy-handling, fast car but can only disguise your jealousy with either a miserable bare-bones utilitarian argument or a load of pointless-hidden-meaning-seeking-post-modern-ironic-Freudian-sexual-bullshit, either keep your nose out, or buy one and try it - shock, horror, you might like it.
Rant over. Sorry, had to get it off my chest...
Most people just dont understand that driving is a hell of a lot of fun in a highly capable car, and just think ur some twat trying to show off when u drive ur sports car around.
But what about those people that got the unnessecarily large TV, fancy kitcen, nice clothes, and the sports car?
But what about those people that got the unnessecarily large TV, fancy kitcen, nice clothes, and the sports car?
v8thunder said:
Then Trinny and Susannah turned up and made me want to kill them in a horribly slow and painful fashion.
OK here goes:
Why is a sports car always supposed to be indicative of some kind of crisis? Why is it that if you buy one in your twenties it's a penis extension, if you buy one in your thirties you're desperately on the pull, if you buy one in your forties it's a mid-life crisis and if you buy one any older than that you're a creepy old man after teenage girls.
I watched these feminist waist of air women on TG also. I don't know why they've got a problem with sports cars. I drive a TVR and I'm nearly 42 and definitely not having a mid-life crisis.
Then Clarkson was going on about men's cars influencing them, and they said no.
What man would go out with one of these bra burners anyway.
Grouch.
>> Edited by groucho on Tuesday 28th December 16:43
annoyed me intensely for a number of reasons most of which have already being covered in your eloquent post. Trinny and Susannah really do need to be taken off our screens and disposed of. Its akin to getting fitness advice from Fern Britain and Dawn French! When one of the bints told JC that he must have a very small penis i was hoping he'd respond by telling them they must have a very small brain. However the lickspittle taodying that is done towards the TG guests continues unabated 
ahem...BrianTheYank said:
But what about those people that got the unnessecarily large TV, fancy kitcen, nice clothes, and the sports car?
Notice that those people don't criticise other peoples possessions?
Point I was trying to make is that no-one complains about spending loads of money on making your house look really nice, filling it with all the latest gadgets and parading your good (or otherwise) taste to your friends, neighbours and visitors, yet are perfectly liable to seem to mount some kind of legal defence full of quasi-psychological rambling when you enjoy driving a nice car? If a sports car is a penis extension then why isn't an electric can-opener? Why don't they refer to someone with a big TV as a steroid-user, or suggest that a US-style walk-in freezer is tantamount to breast implants?
I'm trying to see it on the completely-uninterested-cars-as-white-goods level, and it seems to add up even less.
Then I try and see it from the fashion guru perspective, and the argument becomes positively hypocritical.
I just want to know why cars come in for such a bashing by non-sports-car drivers from so many fronts that simply don't occur to the sports car drivers themselves.
groucho said:
Who are they anyway? I've never seen or heard of them before.
Grouch.
They did a show called What Not To Wear, where they take women with little/no dress sense and give them their dress sense.
Almost as annoying as Would Like To Meet, which seemed to run on the assumption that everyone must be wanting to attract the same dull, generic man/woman who likes to do the things outlined in some mythical textbook somewhere.
They are just idiots narrowly behind those 
fools behind that Kingsmill advert, what were they called again? Waste of space and uglier, fatter waste of space.
They are just a pair of clam jousting little girls, who do nothing at all for the female condition. I wouldn't shag either of them on principle.
fools behind that Kingsmill advert, what were they called again? Waste of space and uglier, fatter waste of space. They are just a pair of clam jousting little girls, who do nothing at all for the female condition. I wouldn't shag either of them on principle.
They annoyed me intensely too, they came out with all those tired old worn out cliches one after another. They compounded it with that super smugness that only those who are genuinely convinced that they are right when in fact they are completely wrong can manage to achieve. They thought they new all about what makes men & motors tick, when in fact they just didnt 'get it. Listen you silly bints, its got nothing to do with willies, mid life crisis or any of that old twaddle. Its to do with passion, enthusiasm, soul and loads of other stuff that a tired out pair of stupid ignorant slappers with a serious case of 'penis envy' just cannot understand.
(I didnt mean the 'penis envy' comment, I was using it to be ironic, to demonstrate how they would probably view it if the roles were reversed. No offence intended to female PH'ers).
(I didnt mean the 'penis envy' comment, I was using it to be ironic, to demonstrate how they would probably view it if the roles were reversed. No offence intended to female PH'ers).
Obviously in their mind because you get into a sports car, you are essentially wearing it 
and therefore if you are willing to spend a vast sum of money on an outfit then that is akin to the same thing.. QPQ if you wear an expensive item of clothing you're tarred with the same brush as a sports car driver - so I do believe they are slagging themselves off - ah the irony 
and therefore if you are willing to spend a vast sum of money on an outfit then that is akin to the same thing.. QPQ if you wear an expensive item of clothing you're tarred with the same brush as a sports car driver - so I do believe they are slagging themselves off - ah the irony 
Oi, bird with the fat arse, NO!My 2p worth:
these two 'boob fondlers' are just saying what they believe will make them seem most dramatic and attractive to their target audience, this being - serially drab individuals with no mind to decide on their own style or direction.
They can say what they like - Im damn sure they wouldnt be seen dead in what they considered to be a nasty naff car that didnt reflect their superhuman style/fashion.
I too found them mildly annoying, im sure you guessed...
these two 'boob fondlers' are just saying what they believe will make them seem most dramatic and attractive to their target audience, this being - serially drab individuals with no mind to decide on their own style or direction.
They can say what they like - Im damn sure they wouldnt be seen dead in what they considered to be a nasty naff car that didnt reflect their superhuman style/fashion.
I too found them mildly annoying, im sure you guessed...
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