What is the most stupid thing your wife / partner
Discussion
I have three boys, a lively 6 year old and twin 4 year olds. For Christmas I bought a half complete Real Life Toys Jeepstar (www.realifetoys.com/) and have spent the last 2 months of evenings lovingly preparing it as the ultimate surprise for Christmas Morning. Each evening I tell my beloved that I am going to go work on it in the playroom downstairs, cos it’s too dark and cold and wet outside.
Last night just putting the finishing touches to it, you know checking everything out etc when the phone rings, I go to answer it and after a couple of minutes go back to the playroom where I find 6 year old Matthew staring goggle eyed at the Jeepster.
Apparently Mrs Stupid sent him downstairs to say goodnight to me. “Oh I forgot!” FFS
I am absolutely gutted and serious pissed off that this happened. I have been really looking forwards to seeing all their faces when they see it on Christmas Morning now I am reliant on a 6 year old to not tell his brothers.
Apart from the initial “You Moron” to my misses I am letting her off, she feels worse than I do about the whole thing. Definitely her blondest moment to date though!
Last night just putting the finishing touches to it, you know checking everything out etc when the phone rings, I go to answer it and after a couple of minutes go back to the playroom where I find 6 year old Matthew staring goggle eyed at the Jeepster.
Apparently Mrs Stupid sent him downstairs to say goodnight to me. “Oh I forgot!” FFS
I am absolutely gutted and serious pissed off that this happened. I have been really looking forwards to seeing all their faces when they see it on Christmas Morning now I am reliant on a 6 year old to not tell his brothers.
Apart from the initial “You Moron” to my misses I am letting her off, she feels worse than I do about the whole thing. Definitely her blondest moment to date though!
Lodger (lived in the same house so worse than a wife really!!) was just unbelieveable dense.
She was a secondary school teacher so f
k knows how she survived so long - list of irratations..
ALWAYS forgot her turn to put electric on the electric key. Endlessly coming home to find computer rebooted and clocks not set
NEVER locked the back door - EVER!!!!!
Always left the heating on. I cant remember one time when I came home and it was actually turned off (she always overrode it)
Twice she offered to feed and water the guinea pigs, she NEVER did. Came home after a week and a half on a training course and found the water bottle bone dry and the food empty - "Sorry i forgot" ...
I guess some people just dont mix and she was mine...
She was a secondary school teacher so f
k knows how she survived so long - list of irratations.. ALWAYS forgot her turn to put electric on the electric key. Endlessly coming home to find computer rebooted and clocks not set
NEVER locked the back door - EVER!!!!!
Always left the heating on. I cant remember one time when I came home and it was actually turned off (she always overrode it)
Twice she offered to feed and water the guinea pigs, she NEVER did. Came home after a week and a half on a training course and found the water bottle bone dry and the food empty - "Sorry i forgot" ...
I guess some people just dont mix and she was mine...
My ex-boyfriend was a passenger in his mate's car. The bloke had a compass on his dashboard and my brainy ex tried to turn it around to see which direction they were travelling in.
This is the same bloke, who, when asked the time by a friend in a pub, turned his wrist to look at his watch and poured his pint into his lap.
This is the same bloke, who, when asked the time by a friend in a pub, turned his wrist to look at his watch and poured his pint into his lap.
Mrs Fish said:
Oh dear that is a shame, but sometimes especially at this time of year a woman has a lot on her plate, cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping presents and we sometimes have blonde moments and lapses in concentration, don't be too hard on her.
It is cos I love her that I am not giving her a hard time, I can't disguise those feelings of dissapointment though.
birdbrain said:
This is the same bloke, who, when asked the time by a friend in a pub, turned his wrist to look at his watch and poured his pint into his lap.
I knew someone who did this a few times. Eventually he wore he watch on the underside of his wrist so he could, in theory, read the time without spilling his pint. Of course to test this, we asked him the time. Que him turning his wrist the other way and spilling it over some poor girl
Dozy prick.
>> Edited by chief-0369 on Friday 24th December 10:22
First time I took the misses, then GF, to meet my parents she was driving. Probably cos I was drunk.
We were heading up the A3 and got to the Tolworth junction, I asked her to exit the a3 and get into the outside lane. So we poodle through the underpass in the outside lane, "well you told me to get in the outside lane!" she hollers at me, probably cos I was in the footwell laughing.
Later that day mum asks her what she wants for Christmas, misses replies "a Cafeteria please!" er is that with stainless tops or formica.
We were heading up the A3 and got to the Tolworth junction, I asked her to exit the a3 and get into the outside lane. So we poodle through the underpass in the outside lane, "well you told me to get in the outside lane!" she hollers at me, probably cos I was in the footwell laughing.
Later that day mum asks her what she wants for Christmas, misses replies "a Cafeteria please!" er is that with stainless tops or formica.
Going to be driving up North, from London, to my parents for Xmas later today. My heavily modified 911 Turbo is parked on street and causes me enough sleepless nights as it is. So you can imagine my confusion when the bird wanted to know whether she should load up the car, last night, with all the presents we'll be taking back... "Dear, that's a perfect idea. Will you call AutoSceen and buy replacement presents as well?"
OOh OOh car related!!
My X was looking for a cheap car when we lived in Newquay on the rock and roll, after college bumming about you know...
I showed her an advert "MG Metro, 1985 No MOT, no tax. Free to a good Home. Needs welding or may Break."
Now you and I read that to mean the chap is up for scrapping it for parts. She read it to think it was dangerous as it needed to be welded before it broke aahh surfer birds are great!
My X was looking for a cheap car when we lived in Newquay on the rock and roll, after college bumming about you know...
I showed her an advert "MG Metro, 1985 No MOT, no tax. Free to a good Home. Needs welding or may Break."
Now you and I read that to mean the chap is up for scrapping it for parts. She read it to think it was dangerous as it needed to be welded before it broke aahh surfer birds are great!
I've posted this way back in January, but it's worth repeating.
There was this student lass playing Carpark Catchphrase with Chris Moyles on Radio 1 and to put her at her ease Moyles asked her a few questions about herself
Moyles: "So what car are you in?"
Her: "It's a Renault Clio".
Moyles: "Is it petrol or diesel?"
Her:
"Errrrr..... it's unleaded"
Moyles: (gives her a hard time)
Her: "I've been told to use the green pump".
Moyles: (gives her even more of a hard time)
Errrrrrr, really quite remarkable.
There was this student lass playing Carpark Catchphrase with Chris Moyles on Radio 1 and to put her at her ease Moyles asked her a few questions about herself
Moyles: "So what car are you in?"
Her: "It's a Renault Clio".
Moyles: "Is it petrol or diesel?"
Her:
"Errrrr..... it's unleaded" Moyles: (gives her a hard time)
Her: "I've been told to use the green pump".
Moyles: (gives her even more of a hard time)
Errrrrrr, really quite remarkable.
apparently I am responsible for spoiling my Gf's supprise.
She wanted a a moutain bike. So I bought her one.
She searched the house and garage looking for her presents. She has gone through my e-mails and looked for receipts. She looked in my mobile phone and found that I had phoned her freind on a day when I was off work and she was away.
she then went round to her freinds house and asked her son If I had dropped anything off there. He said yes and the look on her freinds face then convinced her that I had.
She then searched her house garage and shed but only found one large box. Her freind told her that was for her son
on getting home she quissed me on what i was buying her. She said if I was getting a bike there was no place to put it in the garage cos of the handle bars.
I said well youll just have to wait and see wont you and anyway the come flat.
she said in a box. I said sometimes. quess what she's put 2 and 2 togther and its my fault cos I said they come in a box.
So I have spoilt her christmas
Womens Logic
She wanted a a moutain bike. So I bought her one.
She searched the house and garage looking for her presents. She has gone through my e-mails and looked for receipts. She looked in my mobile phone and found that I had phoned her freind on a day when I was off work and she was away.
she then went round to her freinds house and asked her son If I had dropped anything off there. He said yes and the look on her freinds face then convinced her that I had.
She then searched her house garage and shed but only found one large box. Her freind told her that was for her son
on getting home she quissed me on what i was buying her. She said if I was getting a bike there was no place to put it in the garage cos of the handle bars.
I said well youll just have to wait and see wont you and anyway the come flat.
she said in a box. I said sometimes. quess what she's put 2 and 2 togther and its my fault cos I said they come in a box.
So I have spoilt her christmas
Womens Logic
richardthestag said:
Oh dear that is a shame, but sometimes especially at this time of year a woman has a lot on her plate, cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping presents and we sometimes have blonde moments and lapses in concentration, don't be too hard on her.
It is cos I love her that I am not giving her a hard time, I can't disguise those feelings of dissapointment though.
You love her you love your kids
even if the 6 yr old spills the beans I think they will all be delighted.
No use crying over spilt milk.
get your misses something stunning and revel in her reaction instead.
Happy Christmas!
A mate of mines ex missus was a true blonde.
When she was getting the arrangements made for their registry office wedding, the registrar asked her if her husband to be was a bachelor. She replied "no, he's a carpenter".
Later on in their marriage, they were getting some financial service (loan or something, I can't remember). One of the conditions was my mate, as the breadwinner had to have a medical, including an aids test. They were stood at the checkout in the local supermarket on a Friday night, and it was packed. His missus suddenly remembers that they've had some post that morning, and announces "oh, the results of your aids test came back this morning". It wasn't quite at the top of her voice, but loud enough for the people nearby in the queue to hear. He said he didn't know what to do, and actually considered decking her before she said anything else.
He took the letter off her, read it, and announced "thats good, the insurance people will be happy"..........it was the best he could think of given the circumstances.
Phil
When she was getting the arrangements made for their registry office wedding, the registrar asked her if her husband to be was a bachelor. She replied "no, he's a carpenter".
Later on in their marriage, they were getting some financial service (loan or something, I can't remember). One of the conditions was my mate, as the breadwinner had to have a medical, including an aids test. They were stood at the checkout in the local supermarket on a Friday night, and it was packed. His missus suddenly remembers that they've had some post that morning, and announces "oh, the results of your aids test came back this morning". It wasn't quite at the top of her voice, but loud enough for the people nearby in the queue to hear. He said he didn't know what to do, and actually considered decking her before she said anything else.
He took the letter off her, read it, and announced "thats good, the insurance people will be happy"..........it was the best he could think of given the circumstances.
Phil
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