Training courses for men

[birdbrain]

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away.
7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back.
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill
15. Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts: Retro? Or Just Hideous?
16. Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware: No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves.
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
21. Sharing the Remote: Yours, Mine, and Ours.
22. Why Women Laugh: "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!"
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. Be the First Man to Say It! : "I Don't Know"
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

Discount for Piston Heads members available.

[vixpy1]

Touche Miss Brain, touche!

[The Wiz]

birdbrain said:

18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means

It means that the team in possession of the football with be about to punt.

[BliarOut]

birdbrain said:

21. Sharing the Remote: Yours, Mine, and Ours.

Can't see many takers for this

[alfaman]

embarassingly true :cough:

[chief-0369]

birdbrain said:

29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

Blasphamy!

Give me a hammer big enough or a wrench long enough and I can fix anything or at least die trying

>> Edited by chief-0369 on Wednesday 22 December 13:52

[MilnerR]

Training courses for women


1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

[Byff]

birdbrain said:

26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty

Erm, should this be in the womens courses? My Jeep is dual fuel, I frequently jump in it to find both gauges in the red.

[chaparral]

The Wiz said:

birdbrain said: 18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means It means that the team in possession of the football will be about to punt.

If they're behind and there are less than two minutes left, they'd damn well better not! (Hint to Cleveland Brown Trousers coaches: You can't win games if you don't try to go for the end-zone or the field-goal)

[Incorrigible]

FFS if it's so dirty it annoys you, fg clean it

I'll be in the garage if you find any spiders

[chaparral]

birdbrain said:

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference! 6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away. 9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In 10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In 14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill 15. Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts: Retro? Or Just Hideous? 18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means 19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond Pizza Hut 22. Why Women Laugh: "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!" 24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed 26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty 27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them 28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime 29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It Discount for Piston Heads members available.

5. Actually, I chose a linoleum pattern so that you couldn't...
6. Yeah, but if we collect 55,000 cartons we'll get a new "Budweiser" hat.
9-10. Spare cardboard and styrofoam are always welcome. They mean we can actually fix stuff without spending money.
14-15. I'm not sure if Goodwill would like my 15-year-old jeans. Y'see, 15 years ago, I was three and that was wehen I was just mastering the use of the toilet... Don't knock polyester, it makes even the brightest colours completely fade-resistant.
18. I think they should, however, know that the man watching the game will be swearing or screaming soon.
19. Well, how about Taco Bell?
22. I watched a Boston Celtics game last week. That wasn't basketball they were playing...
24. Nobody ever looks there - why should it be clean?
26. There's always a gallon left, even when there isn't.
27. That's what maps are for, right?
28. Yeah, but I'll be damned if I remember anything you said during the fourth quarter. Or the first, second, or third...
29. Being able to fix stuff is a more precious part of one's manhood than even the junk between his legs.

[EmmaP]

Incorrigible said:

I'll be in the garage if you find any spiders

That is one thing I really miss - having a man to deal with the spiders.

Runs for the door

[Cosmoschick]

30. IMS: Your Problem ... Not Hers.

[chaparral]

What is IMS?

[Chim_Girl]

EmmaP said:

Incorrigible said: I'll be in the garage if you find any spiders That is one thing I really miss - having a man to deal with the spiders.

Get a cat.... Faithful, will catch spiders without being asked, toilet trained and won't hog the remote!

[Cosmoschick]

chaparral said:

What is IMS?

Check your engines gentlemen!

There are 1000s of males out there in the same sorry state...

"Irritable Male Syndrome"

or, loosely translated, testosterone deficiency causing anger and irritability.

[BliarOut]

IMS, err, nope I can see a lot of blank faces amongst the boys.... I think you just made that up

[Cosmoschick]

BliarOut said:

blank faces amongst the boys....

Nothing new there then!

Google for it!