Training courses for women

[vixpy1]

Women think they already know everything, but wait, training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait until After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet too.

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . .. . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both (not just tissues and air
fresheners)

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

26. Getting ready to go out: Start the day before.

Please register immediately as courses are in great demand.

[minimax]

vixpy1 said:

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

this one is so true: If I hear one more girly chat about 'water retention' i'm just going to lose it and shout you just ate too many eclairs this last few weeks and you're a bit porkier!

right after, i'll get a shoeing of course, but that's not important right now

[BliarOut]

It's not water retention, it's pie retention

[birdbrain]

So how do you explain water retention on the ankles of pregnant women? Mrs Fish?

[justayellowbadge]

27 . Sculpture appreciation - Wing'd is good...

[alfaman]

Need to add :

Communication Skills IV : Men are not telepathic -( no matter how long your moody silences last.)

Financial Planning 1: Spending what he earns before he's earned it.

Financial Planning 2 : Whats mine is mine , whats his is mine

Clothes and Diets 1 : Clothes never "make you look fat" - fat does.

Advanced Multi Tasking : How to drive / phone / dry hair /feed dogs / put on makeup -( simultaneously )while on the M25 at 85mph

[rude girl]

Still single then Vixpy?

[Mrs Fish]

birdbrain said:

So how do you explain water retention on the ankles of pregnant women? Mrs Fish?

I haven't got swollen ankles yet, still too early I think

[Mrs Fish]

birdbrain said:

So how do you explain water retention on the ankles of pregnant women? Mrs Fish?

I don't know, I don't have swollen ankles.....yet

[BliarOut]

Initially Mrs Fish said:

birdbrain said: So how do you explain water retention on the ankles of pregnant women? Mrs Fish? I haven't got swollen ankles yet, still too early I think

Then eight minutes later Mrs Fish said:

birdbrain said: So how do you explain water retention on the ankles of pregnant women? Mrs Fish? I don't know, I don't have swollen ankles.....yet

They say pregnancy affects the memory Mrs F, how's yours at the mo?

>> Edited by BliarOut on Wednesday 22 December 14:47

[EmmaP]

27. How to Resist the Irresistable Charms of Vixpy1.

[titiany]

TRAINING COURSES NOW AVAILABLE FOR MEN:
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge

3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? You CAN Tell the Difference!

6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I

7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II

8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!

9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In

10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In

11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink

12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!

13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!

14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill

15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts

16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware

17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!

18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means

19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut

20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category

21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh

23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet

24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed

25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!

26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty

27. Directions: It IS Okay to Ask for Them

28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime

29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It


Back at ya Vixpy1!

[alexkp]

I would add another:

"Ebay is for selling, not just buying."

[vixpy1]

EmmaP said:

27. How to Resist the Irresistable Charms of Vixpy1.

Women have been asking that question for years!

[Mrs Fish]

BliarOut said:

They say pregnancy affects the memory Mrs F, how's yours at the mo?

I was having real problems posting for a while, nothing was happening for about 10 mins