Are *you* a Chav? (PH Humour time!)

[Don]

Last night I watched some terrific Southern (US southern) comedy on Sky Movies of all places. The comics ended with a hilarious sequence of

"If this is true about you...you may be a redneck."


For example.

"If your have more than three first names - you may be a redneck."

I thought to myself, here in the UK who they'd be talking about...would be what has come to be called recently "chavs".

I am certain that the PH collective can come up with a fine set of giveaways.

I'll try and start...


If you switch on your Christmas lights and you blow the supply for the whole street - you may be a...

[Corin Denton]

Great thread!!!

If you can fit your fists through your gold hoop earrings you might be a...

If you have a pre-faded gold sovereign that you suck at traffic lights you might be a...

If you drive a Japanese sports car you might be a...

Watch the angry dump valve boys flame me for that one!

>> Edited by Corin Denton on Wednesday 22 December 11:48

[sccbishop]

pdV6 said:

If you (as a female of the species) have your hair scraped back and laquered with what looks like yacht varnish, then you may be...

I believe this is known as a "Croydon facelift"

[Corin Denton]

pdV6 said:

laquered with what looks like yacht varnish, ..

[pdV6]

sccbishop said:

"Croydon facelift"

[Corin Denton]

Nine minutes you're slacking!

[Don]

If the bride wore Adidas, you may be a..

[dick dastardly]

Don said:

If the bride wore Adidas, you may be a..

If the adidas only had 2 stripes you're definately a...

[towman]

How about if you know the layout of your local ASDA?

[pdV6]

towman said:

How about if you know the layout of your local ASDA?

or Lidl or Aldi...

[Don]

towman said:

How about if you know the layout of your local ASDA?

No no no...it should be phrased something like...


If you can find the Value Baked Beans in ASDA in under two minutes, you may be a ...

[diddyman]

I am currently driving this courtesy car:

I'm a chav and proud of it!

[towman]

diddyman said:

I am currently driving this courtesy car: I'm a chav and proud of it!

How about if you get lost over a short distance when there are ten fellow PHers in front of you?

[towman]

If you think the WHoCT looks cool.


or......


If you paid for a WHoCT?

[chief-0369]

If you think asda is a bit too upmarket and you prefer aldi/lidl you might be a...

If the power output of your sound system is more than the power output of your engine then you might be...

[Corin Denton]

towman said:

How about if you know the layout of your local ASDA?

Oh double bubble if you can get to 'White Lightning' cider, own brand beans and chicken nuggets in under a minute!