"I farted on Santas Lap"

[towman]

Best sung in a childs voice..........

Mum made beans for dinner,
You know I ate them all.
She said "come get your coat on,
we`re going to the mall".
You`re gonna visit Santa,
and sit upon his knee,
but all that I could think about
was how not to cut the cheese.

Waiting there for Santa,
I thought that I`d explode.
The gas bubbles grew bigger
with every Ho ho Ho.
I tried my best to hide it,
thought I was doing swell,
but when I sat down on santa`s lap,
He hollered "whats that smell"


CHORUS
I farted on Santa`s lap,
now Christmas is gonna stink for me.
I farted o Santa`s lap,
Now I`ll get pfhut under my christmas tree.

I asked him for a baseball,
I asked him for a bat,
I asked him for some iceskates,
But I`ll get none of that.
I asked him for a lot of things,
now I`ll have to do without,
cos when I sat down on santa`s lap,
I let one slip out.

CHORUS


On christmas eve I snuck out of bed without another sound,
I snuck into the living room to take a look around.
It was then that i saw Santa,
beside the christmas tree.
His arms were full of presents,
and they were all for me.
He put them in a pile,
got up to turn around,
and blew a fart with such great force,
our tree almost came down.
So I`ll always cherish,
that special moment when
I realised even old saint nick
rips one now and then.

[EmmaP]

Are you drunk or just bored?

[towman]

EmmaP said:

Are you drunk or just bored?

Yes

[Byff]

There's a really funny fart video doing the rounds ATM, but I'm scared to post the link as it's a porn outtake. Basically, mans bum, womans tongue, guess the rest.

I don't want to spend Xmas in the sin bin.

[docevi1]

Byff, that sounds terrible and in my tipsy state (first beer for 5 months) that has me most amused!

[mybrainhurts]

I have it on good authority that this Father Christmas chappie once achieved orbit whilst descending a smouldering chimney and letting one squeak out..........