The pie interview
Discussion
I’ve been interviewing today and the last guy I met was the product of “Oxbridge Business Management Education” – God help this country if he’s typical of the cream of graduates. He told me about:
Synergy Management
Growth by Belief
Unifying Inventory
Delegation Protocol
Etc.. Etc..
I didn’t have a clue what he was going on about, but it’s fair to say that that if “business theory” is anything to go by – then he’s our man!
I asked him why he was interested in working for me and he said “better to have a small slice of a large pie than a large slice of a small pie”. I replied, asking “what type of pie do you like?” He looked bemused and said “what do you mean?” I said “you’ve used every other noun in some obscure way, and I was interested as to whether you understood any words in their true context”. He was stunned. I then said “personally I like steak and kidney pie followed by apple pie”. “Also, I prefer to have a small slice of a large pie, rather than a large slice of a small pie, because there is more pie left over for me to eat later on”.
We shook hands and he departed.
Synergy Management
Growth by Belief
Unifying Inventory
Delegation Protocol
Etc.. Etc..
I didn’t have a clue what he was going on about, but it’s fair to say that that if “business theory” is anything to go by – then he’s our man!
I asked him why he was interested in working for me and he said “better to have a small slice of a large pie than a large slice of a small pie”. I replied, asking “what type of pie do you like?” He looked bemused and said “what do you mean?” I said “you’ve used every other noun in some obscure way, and I was interested as to whether you understood any words in their true context”. He was stunned. I then said “personally I like steak and kidney pie followed by apple pie”. “Also, I prefer to have a small slice of a large pie, rather than a large slice of a small pie, because there is more pie left over for me to eat later on”.
We shook hands and he departed.
srebbe64 said:
I then said “personally I like steak and kidney pie followed by apple pie”. “Also, I prefer to have a small slice of a large pie, rather than a large slice of a small pie, because there is more pie left over for me to eat later on”.
Hello, hello.....is you Johnny Prescott.....?
Really, really, REALLY hate interviewing people that resort to meaningless management metaphors, etc. in interviews. I want to know how they think, not how good they are at Scrabble. Send him this link: www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/
My favourite was interviewing a guy about a technical subject. A subject I knew a bit about (ok, actually, I had - quite literally - written the text book on the subject, and it was sat on the shelf behind me). So, despite me hinting towards the correct solution and the problems he might find with his approach, this fairly junior guy says (in his own words), the following three statements: "you don't know what you're talking about", "that's not how it works", "you've no idea".
Couldn't resist but reach behind me, pull the book off the shelf, flick to page 172, and pass it across to him.
Funnily enough, he didn't ask me what our holiday package and relocation policy was before finishing the interview.
>> Edited by J_S_G on Friday 17th December 17:12
My favourite was interviewing a guy about a technical subject. A subject I knew a bit about (ok, actually, I had - quite literally - written the text book on the subject, and it was sat on the shelf behind me). So, despite me hinting towards the correct solution and the problems he might find with his approach, this fairly junior guy says (in his own words), the following three statements: "you don't know what you're talking about", "that's not how it works", "you've no idea".
Couldn't resist but reach behind me, pull the book off the shelf, flick to page 172, and pass it across to him.
Funnily enough, he didn't ask me what our holiday package and relocation policy was before finishing the interview.
>> Edited by J_S_G on Friday 17th December 17:12
This is a trend though, talking bolloks for inteviews, it is almost like the teachers/lectures have watched too many yes ministers and think that what we all want to hear. Even worse is when one of these halfwits is doing the interviewing. Some years ago I was invited for an interview for B&Q to run one of their new chain of Autocentres (it was sold eventually to another company who went bust). At the interview there were three people who all spoke about synegy, and all the hip management buzzwords. After 45 minuets of this I am afraid I was pissed off and just said that none of them had a clue about the motor trade and instead of talking perhaps they should listen. I ranted for about 5 mins and left the room. 1 hour later I had the job at three times my salary and begun a very good career.The training though basically was how to speak like them, never did manage that.
srebbe64 said:
Isn't the aim of most businessmen to have the entire pie ... and eat it?
You'll notice that I shook his hand and he left my office. "The pie is all mine". "Long live the pie".
Meat and Potato for me. With mushy peas and gravy. Which reminds me, Ted are the Pie Co. that were at Pistonfest going to be at the next one?
One of the best interview question - response situations has to be this sales spiel
INTERVIEWER "sell me this jug of water"
INTERVIEWEE leans forward and sets light to interviewer's tie
INTERVIEWER speechless, panics quietly
INTERVIEWEE "how much for this jug of water?"
Infamous but can't remember who or when...
INTERVIEWER "sell me this jug of water"
INTERVIEWEE leans forward and sets light to interviewer's tie
INTERVIEWER speechless, panics quietly
INTERVIEWEE "how much for this jug of water?"
Infamous but can't remember who or when...
Marvellous, typical of the bullshit speak that NuLabia and their drones spout..
all to do with reality, ask him if he can use a broom and he wouldn't know what it was, never mind whether he could understand it's use...have had umpteen of such wnakers apply for jobs.... needless to say such knobs get shown the door ratehr fast.....
One of my best guys is an ex-tilelayer who WANTED to do the job and has proven, although his education was poor, that he's more than up to the job due to application and willingness to learn! and he's doing a job that has a description for a Postgrad or Doc!
all to do with reality, ask him if he can use a broom and he wouldn't know what it was, never mind whether he could understand it's use...have had umpteen of such wnakers apply for jobs.... needless to say such knobs get shown the door ratehr fast..... One of my best guys is an ex-tilelayer who WANTED to do the job and has proven, although his education was poor, that he's more than up to the job due to application and willingness to learn! and he's doing a job that has a description for a Postgrad or Doc!
This ist too much like experience I had last summer - interviewing to add to my team - ended up mit foreigners .... und now have even less peoples to correct my English ....
But then ... would have less of chance if recruited the one who was like this one
as would have no chance in understanding him. graduate in undiluted waffle said:
Synergy Management
Growth by Belief
Unifying Inventory
Delegation Protocol
Etc.. Etc..
Did he really understand these words himself? Sounds to me that he learned them by rote und got them out of "Wiggy's Guide to interview techniques!"
and
graduate in undiluted waffle said:
better to have a small slice of a large pie than a large slice of a small pie
Und I bet he rehearsed this line in front of a mirror umpteen times - trying to look ever so sincere und enthusiastic
Poor confused soul....
strebbe64 said:
I didn’t have a clue what he was going on about, but it’s fair to say that that if “business theory” is anything to go by – then he’s our man!
Not really .... too fond of jargon und he may not have first clue of real business. Business ist reality und not out of textbook mit silly speak. Und his colleagues und clients need to know what he ist on about.
Of course - toppest scientist talks to other toppest scientists in toppest science speak und I have little diagrams und fomulae which are universal und thus intelligble to all regardless of lingo
WildCat said:
Not really .... too fond of jargon und he may not have first clue of real business. Business ist reality und not out of textbook mit silly speak. Und his colleagues und clients need to know what he ist on about.
Of course - toppest scientist talks to other toppest scientists in toppest science speak und I have little diagrams und fomulae which are universal und thus intelligble to all regardless of lingo
Ah, the lost art of communication which still, mostly, exists in science even if frequently the individual conclusions seem to be different.
A learned professor in Finland once calculated that, across all forms of communication, successful transfer of meaning and intent occurs in only 5% of attempts. Statistically 5% is not significant, therefore successful communication occurs purely by chance.
I have yet to see any evidence, in the new management speak culture, that he was wrong.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff