Nursery Rhymes
Discussion
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
but she didn't wear that one very often
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you d!ckhead."
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little franky.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.
There was a young sailor named Bates,
Who danced the fandango on skates,
A fall on his cutlass,
Rendered him nutless,
and practically useless on dates.
Mary had a little lamb
Its wool all white and whispy
But then it caught F&M
And now its black and crispy
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
but she didn't wear that one very often
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you d!ckhead."
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little franky.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.
There was a young sailor named Bates,
Who danced the fandango on skates,
A fall on his cutlass,
Rendered him nutless,
and practically useless on dates.
Mary had a little lamb
Its wool all white and whispy
But then it caught F&M
And now its black and crispy
There was a young girl from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Shoved a pole in her ear
And said you can’t swim here its private
There once was a gay from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They lay side-by-side
And tried to decide
Who should do what, with which, and to whom
There once was a bessie from Morecombe
Who had one long tit and one short one
And on top of all that
A big hairy
And a fart like a 650 Norton
There once was a plumber called Lee
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee
She said "Stop your plumbing"
"I think someone's coming"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "it's me!"
There once was a young man called Docherty
Making love to his girl on the rockery
She said "Look, you've cum"
"all over my bum"
"this isn't a shag - it's a mockery"
There once was a Vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were regular and stable
By the light of the moon
She'd take out a spoon
And drink herself under the table.
(Have I offended anyone yet?
)
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Shoved a pole in her ear
And said you can’t swim here its private
There once was a gay from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They lay side-by-side
And tried to decide
Who should do what, with which, and to whom
There once was a bessie from Morecombe
Who had one long tit and one short one
And on top of all that
A big hairy
And a fart like a 650 Norton
There once was a plumber called Lee
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee
She said "Stop your plumbing"
"I think someone's coming"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "it's me!"
There once was a young man called Docherty
Making love to his girl on the rockery
She said "Look, you've cum"
"all over my bum"
"this isn't a shag - it's a mockery"
There once was a Vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were regular and stable
By the light of the moon
She'd take out a spoon
And drink herself under the table.
(Have I offended anyone yet?
)Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed
Little Bo Peep was giving him head
as soon as he came she started to weep
cos she Knew by the taste
He'd been shaggin her sheep
Mary hada little lamb
it was full of fun and frollicks
one day it tried to jump a 5 bar gate
and got impaled on its . . . .leg!!!
>> Edited by shirley temple on Friday 17th December 00:03
Little Bo Peep was giving him head
as soon as he came she started to weep
cos she Knew by the taste
He'd been shaggin her sheep
Mary hada little lamb
it was full of fun and frollicks
one day it tried to jump a 5 bar gate
and got impaled on its . . . .leg!!!
>> Edited by shirley temple on Friday 17th December 00:03
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