Confucius he say

[mutt k]

Confucius He Say

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Foolish man give wife grand piano
Wise man give wife upright organ.

It take many nails to build crib
But one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man who fishes in other man's well
Often catches crabs.

Man who lives in glass house
Should change clothes in basement.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways
Is going to Bangkok.

Man with hand in pocket
Feels cocky all day.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Panties not best thing on earth
But next to best thing on earth.

Passionate kiss like spider's web
Soon lead to undoing of fly.

Virginity like bubble
One prick all gone.

War doesn't determine who is right
War determines who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse
Soon find him in cathouse.

All men eat
But Fumanchu.

Baby born in car with automatic transmission
Grow to become shiftless bastard.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Bird in hand
Make difficult to blow nose.

Buddhist monk like hot dog vendor
Make man one with everything.

Butcher who back into meat grinder
Get a little behind in his work.

Couple on seven day honeymoon
Make whole week.

Cow with no legs
Ground beef.

Even greatest of whales
Helpless in desert.

Finding old man in dark
Not hard.

Fly who sit on toilet seat
Get pissed off.

Girl who ride bicycle
Peddle ass all over town.

Girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.

He who crosses ocean twice without washing
Dirty double crosser.

He who eat crackers in bed
Have crummy sleep.

He who have last laugh
Not get joke.

He who live in stone house
Should not throw glasses.

He who sit on upturned tack
Rise above all.

He who sneeze without tissue
Take matter in own hands.

He who sniff coke - drown.

House without bathroom
Uncanny.

It is good for girl to meet boy in park
But better for boy to park meat in girl.

Learn to masturbate
Come in handy.

Man like baby
Want to suck tit all day.

Man piss in wind
Wind piss back.

Man under wheelbarrow playing with tool
Not necessarily mechanic.

Man who buy drowned cat
Get wet pussy.

Man who drop watch in toilet
Bound to have shitty time.

Man who eat many prunes,
Do it on can for many moons.

Man who eat pussy
Do lip service.

Man who eat too many jellybean
Fart in Technicolor.

Man who eat too many prunes
Get good run for money.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass
Make spectacle of self.

Man who finger girl having period
Caught red handed.

Man who fly upside down have crack up.

Man who get kicked in testicles
Left holding the bag.

Man who go to bed with itchy asshole
Wake with stinky finger.

Man who go to bed with stiff problem
Wake with solution in hand.

Man who keep feet firmly planted on ground,
Have trouble putting on pants.

Man who kisses girl's behind
Get crack in face.

Man who lay woman on ground
Get piece on earth.

Man who leap off cliff
Jump to conclusion.

Man who let woman on top
ing up.

Man who marry girl with no bust
Have right to feel low down.

Man who masturbate
Only screwing himself.

Man who pull woman's bra strap
May get bust in face.

Man who push piano down mine shaft
Likely to get A flat minor.
Man who put cock on stove
Have hot rod.

Man who put cream in tart
Not always baker.

Man who shoot off mouth
Expect to lose face.

Man who sink in woman's arms
Soon have arms in woman's sink.

Man who sit on stool
Smell like shit.

Man who sit on tack
Get point.

Man who sleep with bitchy wife
Wake with itchy trigger-finger.

Man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet.

Man who smoke pot
Choke on handle.

Man who snort coke
Get bubbles up nose.

Man who speak with forked tongue
Should not kiss balloons.

Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets
Feeling nuts.

Man who take lady on camping trip
Have one intent.

Man who throw away watch
Wasting time.

Man who throw dirt
Losing ground.

Man with athletic finger
Make broad jump.

Man with head on railroad track
listening for train to come
Get splitting headache.

Man with stick in hand, knocking balls in pocket
Not necessarily pool player.

Man with tight trousers
Pressing his luck.

Man with tool in woman's mouth
Not necessarily dentist.

Men may have more hair on chest than woman
But on the whole, women have more.

Naked man fear no pickpocket.

Never raise hands to angry child
Leave groin exposed.

Never trust man with short legs
Brains too near bottom.

Rape should not happen
Woman run faster with skirt up, than man with pants down.

Sailor who get discharged from navy
Leave buddies behind.

Secretary become permanent fixture
When screwed on desk.

Sex on beach like American beer
ing near water.

Shallow woman like man with short temper.

Soldier who go to bed horny
Wake with dishonourable discharge.

Squirrel who run up woman's leg
Not find nuts.

Support bacteria
Is only culture some people have.

The end of day is near when small men make long shadows.

Two wrongs not make right
Two rights make U-turn.

Virgin with thimble on finger
Never feel prick.

Waitress who sit on leper's lap
Keep tip.

Wash face in morning
Neck at night.

When lady say no, she mean maybe
When lady say maybe, she mean yes
When lady say yes, she no lady!

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

Woman wearing G-string
High on crack.

Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot
Not sanitary.

Woman who go to man's apartment for snack
Get titbit.

Woman who pounce on dead rooster
Go down on limp cock.

Woman who put detergent on top shelf
Jump for joy.

Woman who spend much time on bedspring
May get offspring.