Santa's not real
Discussion
Can you remember when you discovered this?
I remember like it was yesterday. My thoughts raced at over 100 mph at the grand old age of six:
How could my parents lie to me?
What else should I not believe?
Does that mean God's not real?
Who replied to all of those letters?
What about my birthday - is that real?
What a trauma - but two of my four kids are still 'believers' - how will they take it I wonder?
I remember like it was yesterday. My thoughts raced at over 100 mph at the grand old age of six:
How could my parents lie to me?
What else should I not believe?
Does that mean God's not real?
Who replied to all of those letters?
What about my birthday - is that real?
What a trauma - but two of my four kids are still 'believers' - how will they take it I wonder?
Wadd'ya mean Santa's not real! 
Santa's not real.....hahahaha 
Santa is a professional....My 10 year-old stepson says he still believes, but I think he's just humouring us because he doesn't want to hurt our feelings. 
(And I would imagine he thinks he might cease to get Santa presents if he says he doesn't believe.
)
Edit: Had the "8 posts for the price of 1" error again.
>> Edited by JonRB on Monday 13th December 16:26
(And I would imagine he thinks he might cease to get Santa presents if he says he doesn't believe.
) Edit: Had the "8 posts for the price of 1" error again.
>> Edited by JonRB on Monday 13th December 16:26
JonRB said:
My 10 year-old stepson says he still believes, but I think he's just humouring us because he doesn't want to hurt our feelings.
(And I would imagine he thinks he might cease to get Santa presents if he says he doesn't believe.
Edit: Had the "8 posts for the price of 1" error again.
>> Edited by JonRB on Monday 13th December 16:26
My 10 year old nephew "still believes" - I think he doesn't really - just thinks he'll get more presents that way.
I'm sorry...
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and bacteria, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu Jewish, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Central Demography. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children pre household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This all works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about ...78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,000 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull TEN TIMES the normal ammount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and bacteria, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu Jewish, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Central Demography. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children pre household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This all works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about ...78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,000 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull TEN TIMES the normal ammount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
hansgerd said:
.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound.
That sounds about right.
Oh and you forgot about all Santas special little helpers.Who on occassion have been known to help deliver those larger gifts which can't be smuggled down the chimney.
Ahem, let me correct you....
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified? Sounds to me like this is the number of organisms found which have not yet been named and placed in t he family/genus/species system of classification. This leaves the door wide open to currently undiscovered organisms.
With only nine living reindeer, do you really think that Santa would let them ROAM FREELY where they can be discovered and are vulnerable to poachers? If they haven't been discovered its because they're holed up in the North Pole.
The reindeer are not classified because they have not been "discovered" by the people who assign latin names. They do exists. There are nine of them (Rudolph included).
The sled is very long and is equipped with a spring down its length which compresses upon sled acceleration to cushion Santa from the resulting forces.
The spring decompresses when acceleration halts and gradually pushes Santa back up to the front of the sled. The travel from front to back to front again allows Santa to travel past his entire inventory and thus grab the gifts for the next household.
Santa and his sled team travel at approximately 1792 miles per second and are therefore invisible to the naked eye. For nine reindeer to pull so much weight so fast, they are aided by a propulsion system based on the spewage of heavy neutrinos. Using a shield with sufficient diameter to protect the entire frontal cross section of the sled system, air is deflected into Rudolph's nose. The high speed of the entering air and the resulting pressures create a temperature increase sufficient for fusion a continuous reaction (much like the sun thus providing neutrinos for spewage). This also accounts for the red glow on the outer fringes of Rudolph's nose.
Some energy produced by the fusion reaction is stored in the legs of the other eight reindeer for use in accelerating the sled from a stop on each rooftop. Extra energy is dissipated through the reindeer as well as the loud jingle bells.
The fusion process also produces elements of the periodic table all the way up through iron (Fe). These are stored in select areas of the sled and used for the next year's toys produced in the resource poor arctic region.
On Christmas Eves when Rudolph has consumed too much garlic and Pepsi, the added forward compression of an occasional "nose-belch" is sufficient to produce the heavier, radioactive elements which are stored and later dumped on Mr Blair as Santa's gift to everyone.
UNDISPUTABLE PROOF that Santa is alive and well.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified? Sounds to me like this is the number of organisms found which have not yet been named and placed in t he family/genus/species system of classification. This leaves the door wide open to currently undiscovered organisms.
With only nine living reindeer, do you really think that Santa would let them ROAM FREELY where they can be discovered and are vulnerable to poachers? If they haven't been discovered its because they're holed up in the North Pole.
The reindeer are not classified because they have not been "discovered" by the people who assign latin names. They do exists. There are nine of them (Rudolph included).
The sled is very long and is equipped with a spring down its length which compresses upon sled acceleration to cushion Santa from the resulting forces.
The spring decompresses when acceleration halts and gradually pushes Santa back up to the front of the sled. The travel from front to back to front again allows Santa to travel past his entire inventory and thus grab the gifts for the next household.
Santa and his sled team travel at approximately 1792 miles per second and are therefore invisible to the naked eye. For nine reindeer to pull so much weight so fast, they are aided by a propulsion system based on the spewage of heavy neutrinos. Using a shield with sufficient diameter to protect the entire frontal cross section of the sled system, air is deflected into Rudolph's nose. The high speed of the entering air and the resulting pressures create a temperature increase sufficient for fusion a continuous reaction (much like the sun thus providing neutrinos for spewage). This also accounts for the red glow on the outer fringes of Rudolph's nose.
Some energy produced by the fusion reaction is stored in the legs of the other eight reindeer for use in accelerating the sled from a stop on each rooftop. Extra energy is dissipated through the reindeer as well as the loud jingle bells.
The fusion process also produces elements of the periodic table all the way up through iron (Fe). These are stored in select areas of the sled and used for the next year's toys produced in the resource poor arctic region.
On Christmas Eves when Rudolph has consumed too much garlic and Pepsi, the added forward compression of an occasional "nose-belch" is sufficient to produce the heavier, radioactive elements which are stored and later dumped on Mr Blair as Santa's gift to everyone.
UNDISPUTABLE PROOF that Santa is alive and well.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY
glocko said:
On Christmas Eves when Rudolph has consumed too much garlic and Pepsi, the added forward compression of an occasional "nose-belch" is sufficient to produce the heavier, radioactive elements which are stored and later dumped on Mr Blair as Santa's gift to everyone.
UNDISPUTABLE PROOF that Santa is alive and well.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY
Thankyou for making me smile.
hansgerd said:
The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second
Ah, but you forgot about the Force Field that protects them. b
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