Thoughts for today.......
Discussion
------Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
------Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
------Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for awhile... it isn't so hot.
------I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
------While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is--- it's you.
------Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
------I asked Mum if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
------Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
------The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
------According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes, Women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
------Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
------In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
------All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
------Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut save you thirty pence?
------Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realise it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
------There's a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.....There's another theory, which states this has already happened.
------How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
------Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."
------Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
------Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for awhile... it isn't so hot.
------I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
------While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is--- it's you.
------Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
------I asked Mum if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
------Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
------The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
------According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes, Women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
------Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
------In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
------All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
------Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut save you thirty pence?
------Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realise it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
------There's a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.....There's another theory, which states this has already happened.
------How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
------Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."
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