Xmas party politics!!! A very PC Christmas!
Discussion
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4 November 2004
Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at
the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll
have a small band playing traditional carols - please feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees
can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make
the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only
for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
NICK
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party".
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.
There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will
have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Nick
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table - you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
"AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!! How am I supposed
to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange. No gift exchange allowed now since
the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management
believe £10.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Nick
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate
how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim
employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal
until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take
home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged
for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet
and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are
allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men,
each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements
for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress
no cross dressing allowed, but we will have booster seats for short people.
Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the
salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure
taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the
restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!
Nick
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2004
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly
put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic
tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream
when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream
right NOW !! I hope you all have a rotten holiday,
The BASTARD from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FROM: GARY MATHER, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9 November 2004
RE: Nick Millard and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Nick Millard a speedy
recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to him. In the meantime,
the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give
everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Happy Holidays
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4 November 2004
Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at
the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll
have a small band playing traditional carols - please feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees
can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make
the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only
for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
NICK
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party".
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.
There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will
have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Nick
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table - you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
"AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!! How am I supposed
to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange. No gift exchange allowed now since
the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management
believe £10.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Nick
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate
how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim
employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal
until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take
home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged
for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet
and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are
allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men,
each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements
for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress
no cross dressing allowed, but we will have booster seats for short people.
Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the
salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure
taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the
restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!
Nick
FROM: NICK MILLARD
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2004
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly
put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic
tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream
when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream
right NOW !! I hope you all have a rotten holiday,
The BASTARD from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FROM: GARY MATHER, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9 November 2004
RE: Nick Millard and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Nick Millard a speedy
recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to him. In the meantime,
the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give
everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Happy Holidays
So funny because you could just see it happening 
Can't find the link right now, but there is a guy selling "Happy RamaHannuKwanzMas" shirts, depicting an overweight -SORRY- Gravitationally Challenged, dark skinned, dashiki wearing, sandalled, menorah carrying bearded fellow, sure to put you in good standing with the PC brigade at your work!!
EDIT!! found the link:
www.glennbeck.com/
Dave
>> Edited by just dave on Friday 3rd December 18:39
EDIT!! found the link:
www.glennbeck.com/
Dave
>> Edited by just dave on Friday 3rd December 18:39
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