Steak Bakes...
Discussion
Hmm, having been caught without suitable lunch arrangements today (my ladyfriend usually makes me a sandwich in the morning) I popped out to a 'bakery' with a name bearing some phonetic resemblance to "smeggs" and purchased a "steak bake" from the er, menu.
"That's a quid luv, d'ya wanna bag wi'that?"
The idea had promise, the price was cheap - I'd made a good choice; hell I could even recommend it for the Pie and Piston (once Ted's jumped through firey hoops for the food licence and promised to ban smoking within 500miles of any of the staff of course). However, on first bite, the mushy, slimy goo that seeped out into my mouth let me know that I was probably not dealing with fillet mignon. Or, in fact, meat. Or even, in fact, pastry.
As I proceeded to munch and wince my way through what can only be described as salt-ridden, fatty, pustulated sludge that looked like the crap I fished out of my Calibra's expansion tank ages ago, it occurred to me that in future, I should be more appreciative of my girlfriend and less keen to reject the idea of ham and mustard three days running.
"That's a quid luv, d'ya wanna bag wi'that?"
The idea had promise, the price was cheap - I'd made a good choice; hell I could even recommend it for the Pie and Piston (once Ted's jumped through firey hoops for the food licence and promised to ban smoking within 500miles of any of the staff of course). However, on first bite, the mushy, slimy goo that seeped out into my mouth let me know that I was probably not dealing with fillet mignon. Or, in fact, meat. Or even, in fact, pastry.
As I proceeded to munch and wince my way through what can only be described as salt-ridden, fatty, pustulated sludge that looked like the crap I fished out of my Calibra's expansion tank ages ago, it occurred to me that in future, I should be more appreciative of my girlfriend and less keen to reject the idea of ham and mustard three days running.
stumartin said:
in future, I should be more appreciative of my girlfriend and less keen to reject the idea of ham and mustard three days running.
there is not a task more onerous than making sarnies at 6 in the morning and coping with explosive ketchup and runaway tin foil whilst your eyes are still jammed shut. Big it up to the ladies who make your sandwiches, chaps. It is not the prettiest thing to wake up to!
For a very long time I have refused to eat steak unless I'm in a place I know specialises in steak (La Pampa Argentinean Grill on Battersea Rise for anyone in SW London is superb 
) or its a good quality piece of meat I've bought myself. Most mass market stuff sold as "steak" these days isn't worth the name.
) or its a good quality piece of meat I've bought myself. Most mass market stuff sold as "steak" these days isn't worth the name.AlexH said:
For a very long time I have refused to eat steak unless I'm in a place I know specialises in steak (La Pampa Argentinean Grill on Battersea Rise for anyone in SW London is superb
Guess that leaves out Aberdeen St*ak Houses then (obviously edited not to break the name and shame rule - lol)
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I don't think this particular delicacy involved even that level of low-rent, bulls testicle mix - more like shit in a microwave. I've learnt my lesson well and truly. Sadly, going to an independent in central london involves a gamble as to whether you receive a tasty treat or pube-orific disease-on-a-plate. And I'm not a gambling man.
mcflurry said:
Guess that leaves out Aberdeen St*ak Houses then (obviously edited not to break the name and shame rule - lol)
Thought they'd gone bust? There was one near us that was taken over and re-done by a small local chain. Talking to the manager there one lunchtime about how there never ever seemed to be anyone in there under it's previous ownership, he told us that about £40000 was going through the books every week. Something was being laundered there and it wasn't steak
The esteemed technical team here practically live on the offerings of the aforementioned purveyor of baked goods. They affectionately refer to the chicken variety of pasty as "poultry vomit bake".
No reason to fear it'll make them any more crazy than they already are though.
They're currently playing "penny up the wall" to decide who makes the tea. Last week's "tea b*tch" game involved a large cardboard box with holes of various "points" sizes cut into the side of it, a nine iron and a tennis ball.
No reason to fear it'll make them any more crazy than they already are though.
They're currently playing "penny up the wall" to decide who makes the tea. Last week's "tea b*tch" game involved a large cardboard box with holes of various "points" sizes cut into the side of it, a nine iron and a tennis ball.
mutt k said:
Thought they'd gone bust? There was one near us that was taken over and re-done by a small local chain. Talking to the manager there one lunchtime about how there never ever seemed to be anyone in there under it's previous ownership, he told us that about £40000 was going through the books every week. Something was being laundered there and it wasn't steak
Maybe someone bought a round of drinks there once
stumartin said:
As I proceeded to munch and wince my way through what can only be described as salt-ridden, fatty, pustulated sludge that looked like the crap I fished out of my Calibra's expansion tank ages ago.
Very accurate description. The filling mix must be one part slime to two parts salt.
You can feel your arteries closing and your blood pressure rising after the first bite. At the very least these things should carry a health warning and formula for the antedote .
to the lot of you! Hmmm....
I actually like Greggs food. We have lots of them all over Scotland. I am addicted to there Red Tai Chicken sandwiches, I really cant get enough of them and up until recently I used to eat one a day. I started my own company now so can afford luxuries like these.
The thing is I bet the Red Tia sandwiches are really fatting....Just what I need more blubber.
I dont eat red meat so I havent tried the steak bakes but my mates swear by them.
I am parcial to a cheese and onion pasty now and then.
I actually like Greggs food. We have lots of them all over Scotland. I am addicted to there Red Tai Chicken sandwiches, I really cant get enough of them and up until recently I used to eat one a day. I started my own company now so can afford luxuries like these.
The thing is I bet the Red Tia sandwiches are really fatting....Just what I need more blubber.
I dont eat red meat so I havent tried the steak bakes but my mates swear by them.
I am parcial to a cheese and onion pasty now and then.
wedg1e said:
Smeggs - almost as dire as G**sters
I know, I know. I know they're shite. I know there's nothing good for you in them. I know they're laden with artery clogging fat. I know the filling is made of rodents.
Its just that they're...
such tasty rodents!
>> Edited by Don on Friday 3rd December 18:36
titiany said:
Big it up to the ladies who make your sandwiches, chaps. It is not the prettiest thing to wake up to!
In zcacogp towers, zcacogp makes both his and Mrs zcacogp's sarnies, every morning.
Quite a good routine. Requires imagination to dream up different fillings on a regular basis, but certainly wins brownie points from Mrs zcacogp (and I need all I can get!)
You are also sure of what you are eating, and that it has been done right. Something that also applies to home cooking (which I also enjoy.) And let's be honest, few things beat a really good bit of off-the-bone ham, wholemeal bread and quite a lot of butter and mustard, at lunchtime. (Improved with chips and a pint of beer, but I have yet to work out how to fit that in a lunchbox!)
Oli.
Oli.
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