Worst present ever...EVER!!!

[ace-T]

Inspired by the (now legendary - thanks Dibble ) 'Wing'd Horse of Chavtat'(TM) that Vixpy has given to, not one but several, people, I would like to ask the PH collective for submissions for the:

[comicbookguy]

WORST PRESENT EVER...EVER!!!

[/comicbookguy]

My submission is a pair of resin drunken monks about 9 inches tall that held a bottle of wine and a corkscrew. I believe they hit the charity shop at 9am sharp on the 27th December! Shame they broke the window though...

Ace-T

>>> Edited by ace-T on Thursday 2nd December 21:21

[YarisSi]

Leather Shoe laces - I've had quite a few the rest will come.

[Big_M]

My uncle and his boyfriend bought me a clock work monkey - that spanked its own.

Personally I hate ornaments.

[Podie]

A pewter tankard...!

[D-Angle]

I tend to buy Mrs D-Angle new software. Nothing says "I love you but I haven't a clue what you like" more.

Who's up for a big PH lads' poker night in January, using ties, socks and y-fronts as ante?

[alfaman]

nylon y-fronts ( about 30 years ago)

[wedg1e]

D-Angle said:

I tend to buy Mrs D-Angle new software. Nothing says "I love you but I haven't a clue what you like" more. Who's up for a big PH lads' poker night in January, using ties, socks and y-fronts as ante?

I'll see your Y-fronts and raise you a dressing gown and two pairs of slippers...

[markmullen]

Big_M said:

My uncle and his boyfriend bought me a clock work monkey - that spanked its own.

PMSL

[EmmaP]

I feel quite lucky having received nothing dodgier than a pair of gold hooped earings.

I'd have quite liked that monkey though. Just stick it in the window anytime the Mormons or Jehova's Witnesses are doing the rounds and job's a good 'un (pun intended ).

[D-Angle]

wedg1e said:

I'll see your Y-fronts and raise you a dressing gown and two pairs of slippers...

I'll see your dressing gown and two pairs of slippers, and raise you a pair of grey slip-on shoes, a 'kiss the cook' apron(with matching chef's hat), and one wing'd horse of chavtat!

[Dibble]

The now (thankfully) ex Mrs Dibble's parents always, ALWAYS used to give me a "humorous" novelty tie at Christmas.

This was despite the fact that I was, and still am, a uniformed Police officer, and strangely, the bosses used to frown on "Homer Simpson" ties worn at work...

[speedway]

A crappy 'table' (and I use that term in the loosest sense as it was only 8 inches tall with a top about the size of a postage stamp). What the hell use is that? What am I meant to use it for? Oh, yeah, and it wobbles...

[wedg1e]

Not so long ago I got a T-shirt as a birthday present. It's black and has a picture of playing cards on it, and in some near-indecipherable script underneath it says 'Play your cards right'.
The shirt is from George at Asda, so I reckon cost about £2.99.

As my aunty handed it to me, she said (in that ear-splitting cackle of hers):
















Wait for it....















It's a good one....















"'Ere you go son... now you're only getting this as it's your FORTIETH...."


Er, yeah, thanks aunty.... must remember to drop by your big house in the country sometime.

[bor]

Gazboy said:

For my 18th, my aunt bought me a novelty thong from Ann Summers, it went in the bin as she drove off.

Was also given a flourescent green "posing pouch" (XXL), by some gay friends, complete with the message,

"don't worry, it hasn't been worn"

Still wear it though.

[wedge girl]

A remington fuzz-away, just hope the ex mother-in-law intended it for the bed jacket she bought the previous year and not for anything else.

[Podie]

wedge girl said:

A remington fuzz-away, just hope the ex mother-in-law intended it for the bed jacket she bought the previous year and not for anything else.

[GregE240]

A used chopping board from an elderly relative.

Bizarre.

[Balmoral Green]

bor said:

Was also given a flourescent green "posing pouch" Still wear it though.

I thought that was compulsory German beachwear







Apologies for the blatant stereotyping.

[Muncher]

Probably the worst present anyone could buy me would be a year's membership of Brake, or an "Arive Alive" T Shirt

[zetec]

After months, weeks and days of severe hint dropping about the excellent album by Keane called Hopes and Fears, yes thats right KEANE - HOPES AND FEARS. For fathers day, I got Spaceballs on DVD.