The Ministry of Crap Design Awards
Discussion
Suggestions please.............
Currently shortlisted for the nominations are
No 1
Stanstead Airport Long Term Parking
A: An hour from plane to leaving the car park when it's busy
B: The bus system that can't cope with multiple drop offs. No system to drive to the car park nominated for your day of return (would make the drop off process easier & you would'nt need to remember where you parked it) or fight the bus jam for your luggage.
C: That stupid rail thing that when it breaks causes the whole airport to come to a standstill or use the car parking bus's which then f***s up the car parking even more
No2
Supermarket Car Parks Drive By Killing Systems
Why do they ALL make you drive past the entrance to run down all the trolly drivers.
The design consultancy idiots should be shot for this. Use the simplest route in & out & no blind exits from the fuel stations please.
No3
Bus's, Timetable & Routes
Why dont they ask where & when people want to go?
instead of laying on a service & 6 months later finding out no-one uses it & asking for government handouts to cover the costs.
>>> Edited by cptsideways on Tuesday 30th November 11:26
Currently shortlisted for the nominations are
No 1
Stanstead Airport Long Term Parking
A: An hour from plane to leaving the car park when it's busy
B: The bus system that can't cope with multiple drop offs. No system to drive to the car park nominated for your day of return (would make the drop off process easier & you would'nt need to remember where you parked it) or fight the bus jam for your luggage.
C: That stupid rail thing that when it breaks causes the whole airport to come to a standstill or use the car parking bus's which then f***s up the car parking even more
No2
Supermarket Car Parks Drive By Killing Systems
Why do they ALL make you drive past the entrance to run down all the trolly drivers.
The design consultancy idiots should be shot for this. Use the simplest route in & out & no blind exits from the fuel stations please. No3
Bus's, Timetable & Routes
Why dont they ask where & when people want to go?
instead of laying on a service & 6 months later finding out no-one uses it & asking for government handouts to cover the costs. >>> Edited by cptsideways on Tuesday 30th November 11:26
No.4
Bus Lanes.
Why? Why is it that a few passengers ensuring that a huge, slow, lumbering carcinogenic beast using more hydrocarbons per person than the average car most of the time has its own lane, making sure everything has to travel squeezed into an artificial traffic jam in the other lane, and then the buses don't even run on time anyway due to their obvious shortcomings, and don't go anywhere you want to.
No.5
Speed humps
If the speed limit is 30, I should be able to drive down the road at 30, not have to drop a gear every few yards to wreck my suspension. And the people who they're trying to slow down use them as stunt ramps making them more dangerous, and they slow down emergency vehicles and pose a serious threat to patients in ambulances.
Bus Lanes.
Why? Why is it that a few passengers ensuring that a huge, slow, lumbering carcinogenic beast using more hydrocarbons per person than the average car most of the time has its own lane, making sure everything has to travel squeezed into an artificial traffic jam in the other lane, and then the buses don't even run on time anyway due to their obvious shortcomings, and don't go anywhere you want to.
No.5
Speed humps
If the speed limit is 30, I should be able to drive down the road at 30, not have to drop a gear every few yards to wreck my suspension. And the people who they're trying to slow down use them as stunt ramps making them more dangerous, and they slow down emergency vehicles and pose a serious threat to patients in ambulances.
re your No. 2 and No. 3.......you don't live in the Medway towns by any chance do you !?
I couldn't agree more!
For me:
Credit Card Fuel Pump Implementation
One of the best inventions EVER. Supermarket petrol stations all over were putting these in, but strangely not the Shells,BPs etc. 6 months later and every supermarket petrol station shop was down 50% on it's takings. Big bits of black tape and plastic over every credit card slot. DID SOMEONE NOT REALISE THAT LESS PEOPLE WOULD COME INTO THE SHOP?
I couldn't agree more!
For me:
Credit Card Fuel Pump Implementation
One of the best inventions EVER. Supermarket petrol stations all over were putting these in, but strangely not the Shells,BPs etc. 6 months later and every supermarket petrol station shop was down 50% on it's takings. Big bits of black tape and plastic over every credit card slot. DID SOMEONE NOT REALISE THAT LESS PEOPLE WOULD COME INTO THE SHOP?
Japanese manufacturers who hold alloy castings together using crosshead screws with steel shanks and heads made of cheese devoid of any form of anti-sieze compound.
Ebay's bidding system that lies about the current level of bidding.
IBM's decision to use the 8086 instead of the 68000.
Transverse engine installations designed on the assumption that auxiliary drive belt changes would be carried out by a mechanically gifted octopus.
Standardising the railways on Stephenson's track gauge instead of Brunel's, and adopting a stunted loading gauge.
Ebay's bidding system that lies about the current level of bidding.
IBM's decision to use the 8086 instead of the 68000.
Transverse engine installations designed on the assumption that auxiliary drive belt changes would be carried out by a mechanically gifted octopus.
Standardising the railways on Stephenson's track gauge instead of Brunel's, and adopting a stunted loading gauge.
Pedestrian Crossings located at either the mouth of a road- which is a turn off of a busy main road- or located at the mouth of an exit of a major roundabouts.
So that when you're forced to stop at this Zebra crossing- you can potentially cause a tail back/accident on the roundabouts/main roads.
So that when you're forced to stop at this Zebra crossing- you can potentially cause a tail back/accident on the roundabouts/main roads.
Pigeon said:
Pigeon said:
Standardising the railways on Stephenson's track gauge instead of Brunel's, and adopting a stunted loading gauge.
Why was broad guage 7'1/4", instead of 7'?
I have absolutely no idea, and it has always puzzled me!
He had a very fat pencil when trying to mark out 7'
Pigeon said:
Standardising the railways on Stephenson's track gauge instead of Brunel's, and adopting a stunted loading gauge.
YES! THE PLATINUM-PLATED GOLD STANDARD OF STUPID COMMITTITEES OVERRULING ENGINEERS AND STUFFING SOMETHING UP ROYALLY!
I doubt they'd have ever invented the motorway if we had a broad gage rail system. For one, you can go faster, around tighter curves on a broad gage system than you can on the "coal-waggon gage". For another, a wider rail car can carry more and is better for passengers who seek to stretch out and travel comfortably. "Morgue-style" sleeper carriages were practical on Brunel's line - several times the capacity of our modern sleepers.
Talking about Ralways, I picked up this explanation for the adoption of US and I guess UK railtrack gauges. I'm not sure if it's true but I'm prepared to believe it.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between
the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches, an exceedingly
odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England,
& English emigres built the US railroads. Why did
the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the people
who built the pre railroad tramways, and that is the
gauge they used. Why did they use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the
same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons,
which used the same wheel spacing. Okay! Why did the
wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the
wagon wheels would break on the old, long distance
roads in England, because that's the spacing of the
wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in
Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads
have been used ever since. And the ruts in the
roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match for fear of
destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots
were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they all had
the same wheel spacing. The United States standard
railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived
from the specification for an Imperial Roman war
chariot.
Specifications & bureaucracies live forever. So the
next time you're handed a spec and wonder what horse's
butt came up with it, you may be right...
because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just
wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two
war-horses.
Now, the twist to the story...
There's an extension to the story about railroad
gauges and horses' behinds. When we see a Space
Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two
booster rockets attached to the sides of the main
fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
Thiokol makes the SRBs at its factory at Utah. The
engineers who designed the SRBs wanted to make them
a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by
train from the factory to the launch site. The
railroad line from the factory happens to run
through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to
fit through that tunnel--which is slightly wider
than the railroad track, and the railroad track is
about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major
design feature of what is arguably the world's most
advanced transportation system was determined 2
thousand years go by the width of a horse's butt.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between
the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches, an exceedingly
odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England,
& English emigres built the US railroads. Why did
the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the people
who built the pre railroad tramways, and that is the
gauge they used. Why did they use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the
same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons,
which used the same wheel spacing. Okay! Why did the
wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the
wagon wheels would break on the old, long distance
roads in England, because that's the spacing of the
wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in
Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads
have been used ever since. And the ruts in the
roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match for fear of
destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots
were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they all had
the same wheel spacing. The United States standard
railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived
from the specification for an Imperial Roman war
chariot.
Specifications & bureaucracies live forever. So the
next time you're handed a spec and wonder what horse's
butt came up with it, you may be right...
because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just
wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two
war-horses.
Now, the twist to the story...
There's an extension to the story about railroad
gauges and horses' behinds. When we see a Space
Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two
booster rockets attached to the sides of the main
fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
Thiokol makes the SRBs at its factory at Utah. The
engineers who designed the SRBs wanted to make them
a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by
train from the factory to the launch site. The
railroad line from the factory happens to run
through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to
fit through that tunnel--which is slightly wider
than the railroad track, and the railroad track is
about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major
design feature of what is arguably the world's most
advanced transportation system was determined 2
thousand years go by the width of a horse's butt.
Marquis_Rex said:
Pedestrian Crossings located at either the mouth of a road- which is a turn off of a busy main road- or located at the mouth of an exit of a major roundabouts.
So that when you're forced to stop at this Zebra crossing- you can potentially cause a tail back/accident on the roundabouts/main roads.
This is a favourite one here in Spain, it's downright stupidity!
Martin.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff