My Mate

[Tom Lyden]

This morning I was inundated with calls from people wishing to buy my TVR for the cut down price of £4000... my basta+d mates have stitched me up by putting the ad in Loot...
Any ideas how to get him back....

[Mark_Blackmore]

1) Gonad clamp

Or

2) Ad in personal section of the local paper - seeking a partner of the opposite to his current sexual persuasion.

[currymonster]

try and sh@g his missus.

Edited by currymonster on Monday 10th December 13:50

[plotloss]

Prawns in the pelmet, or down the sofa.

Takes a while for them to start smelling, but once they do...

Matt.

[richb]

Some maggots from the fishing tackle shop down the scuttle air inlet for the heater should do the trick!

[foggy]

Leave some vinegar with the prawns for ultimate effect.

Colin

[pbrettle]

Makes me wonder why people seem to know these things? Been done to you, or done them to others?

Still, heard from my boss a few years ago, that there is an American convertible in the Hertz fleet going around with rotting Beef Jerky stuffed behind the dashboard. He had it for two weeks and it just started to Hummmm...

Nice

Paul.

[mel]

Not readily avaliable in the UK but they are in Europe. You can CS gas pellets that you light and they give off gas. (possible any mates in the military can nick them as they use them for Gas Mask tests) anyway powder them down and sprinkle the dust across his bathroom light bulb (the ideal is a strip light above a shaving mirror the stuff last about a fortnight and will have his eyes streaming every morning as he shaves. The other option is to sprinkle the dust down the heater vents in his car which will make it un drivable with the heater on for a very long time.

[marki]

Mel , that is a wicked idea i guess you really got to mean it to do it ..

nice one

[richb]

For £1500 quid I can get him pushed through his patio doors if you want?

[Tom Lyden]

Mel...great idea..got a mate in the marines...he might have some...

[Dave_H]

Wait till he's out, then stick a "SOLD" sign (borrowed from elsewhere )outside his house.

I did it to a mate of mine 2 months ago, he still has people ask if he's still moving.

[GasBlaster]

Wait till he goes on holiday or on a business trip. Cut out a life sized gun shape in kitchen foil. Sellotape it into the cover of a book. Give him the book to read on the plane. You might see him in about eight years.

[NoisyGriff]

Better still, when he gets back from his business trip, tip off Customs.
Try telling he's got a pound of crack stuffed up his bum.
hahahahaha

oooh. That'll hurt.

Edited by NoisyGriff on Monday 10th December 20:02

[Vmax500]

Plenty of free horse manure around - just look in your local paper. Why not have some delivered to his drive ...

Old style foam fire extinguisher refill kits are always a giggle. Disolve sachet A in the toilet bowl and sachet B in the tank - just one flush produces about 5m cubed of foam in about 5 seconds - great fun.

Finally, you could always register him on 'friendsreunited.co.uk' if he's not already and give him a profile he'd be proud of ... just use your imagination. All sorts of social inadequates from school days will begin to pester him, especially all the blokes he claims to have slept with in the profile you write ...

[PetrolTed]

Remind me never to cross any of you guys...

[McNab]

An advert in the local rag just after Chritmas:

WANTED..your used Xmas Trees. Please leave at front door. 99 Any Street, Anytown.

They're a right sod to shift!

[EdT]

Get taxi cards printed up with his phone number on & leave them lying around in pubs & telephone boxes. And pizza delivery cards too
ED

[jmorgan]

A friend had joke on him from another, sooo he contacted several double glazing firms to call around for a quote for him. 1/4 hr apart. Must have been a sod for the salesmen.

Edited by jmorgan on Friday 14th December 01:19

[pelo]

Heavy duty wheel chocks in a busy carpark. "Why won't it move? More throttle!" LOUD THUD. fear. Sore bum. disapproving looks. cringe!

Edited by pelo on Friday 14th December 04:24