So does anyone get homesick?
Discussion
So we moved in December, I know the wife struggles at times as she's only the other day got the working visa.
I know I don't miss home that much (family aside,) but, how does everyone else cope and what do you define as home sick? I've not looked back yet, don't get me wrong, would champ my arm off to meet some more people but,
What is home sickness?
I know I don't miss home that much (family aside,) but, how does everyone else cope and what do you define as home sick? I've not looked back yet, don't get me wrong, would champ my arm off to meet some more people but,
What is home sickness?
Its essentially the sensation that the grass is always greener. I suffered quite a lot when i was packed off to boarding school. Always believing that it would be better to be at the "other place" i.e home... in what ever form that takes.
The hardest thing since being a adult and being away, ( i do some over seas work )is the isolation. Once you get into a routine its very difficult to break out and go and meet people/ do something spontainous. It can be even more difficult if one person is at home whilst the other works as jealousy sets in with all the "fun" you are having whilst meeting people at work.... etc etc
In my expirence having moved around a lot it takes about 2 years to get a small group of trustworthy people local to you that you can socialise with... The only advice is make your self availabal, opt in to things, and try and keep a positive perspective.
Its not easy adjusting to new enviroments, it takes time and effort too.
and bear in mind even a mushroom cloud has a silver lining!!! heheh
Gwiz
The hardest thing since being a adult and being away, ( i do some over seas work )is the isolation. Once you get into a routine its very difficult to break out and go and meet people/ do something spontainous. It can be even more difficult if one person is at home whilst the other works as jealousy sets in with all the "fun" you are having whilst meeting people at work.... etc etc
In my expirence having moved around a lot it takes about 2 years to get a small group of trustworthy people local to you that you can socialise with... The only advice is make your self availabal, opt in to things, and try and keep a positive perspective.
Its not easy adjusting to new enviroments, it takes time and effort too.
and bear in mind even a mushroom cloud has a silver lining!!! heheh
Gwiz
Quite simply you need to keep busy. Most Americans are pretty socialable and depending upon where you live there is so much to do.
I do have a few British friends although not locally, do pop back to the UK every so often but would never go back.
Mix with people, join some organisations, get out there and sieze the opportunity. I use Skype to contact people back in the UK and sometimes read the papers.....the UK what a mess!!
I do have a few British friends although not locally, do pop back to the UK every so often but would never go back.
Mix with people, join some organisations, get out there and sieze the opportunity. I use Skype to contact people back in the UK and sometimes read the papers.....the UK what a mess!!
Boozy said:
So we moved in December, I know the wife struggles at times as she's only the other day got the working visa.
I know I don't miss home that much (family aside,) but, how does everyone else cope and what do you define as home sick? I've not looked back yet, don't get me wrong, would champ my arm off to meet some more people but,
What is home sickness?
Ten years in and I do occasionally miss home. I miss the ability to just pop in to my parents' home for a cup of tea, or dinner, or helping them with DIY jobs. I miss the bits of Britain I know, some uniquely British food that Americans just don't seem to be able to replicate, and driving on British country lanes at pace.I know I don't miss home that much (family aside,) but, how does everyone else cope and what do you define as home sick? I've not looked back yet, don't get me wrong, would champ my arm off to meet some more people but,
What is home sickness?
However, my lifestyle here is noticeably better than it would be for the job I do, and even if what I was paid now was translated into pounds at the most favourable exchange rate I've seen while being here, I am still better off in the USA.
I think you need to figure out why you came to the USA and understand what makes you want to stay rather than what makes you want to go home.
One of my passwords is password and recentlty I typed passport (twice).
I think everybody has days when things aren't going that well, then you go to the gas station and fill up the car, things never seem so bad after that.
It took me a couple of years to feel comfortable here. It was my wifes idea to give the States a try, for the first 3 months she wouldn't let me out on my own for fear of me killing someone, I was pretty unhappy and was sure I had made a big mistake. I took a long UK holiday, came back, I joined a squash club then took up shooting again, started to meet some real people and found it is not that different to UK.
The turning point for me though was getting a dog, we got two Afghan puppies, within a few months I knew everybody in my neighbourhood.
I think everybody has days when things aren't going that well, then you go to the gas station and fill up the car, things never seem so bad after that.
It took me a couple of years to feel comfortable here. It was my wifes idea to give the States a try, for the first 3 months she wouldn't let me out on my own for fear of me killing someone, I was pretty unhappy and was sure I had made a big mistake. I took a long UK holiday, came back, I joined a squash club then took up shooting again, started to meet some real people and found it is not that different to UK.
The turning point for me though was getting a dog, we got two Afghan puppies, within a few months I knew everybody in my neighbourhood.
Thanks for replying, I guess it's never going to be easy!
The standard of living is WAY above what I'd have at home, as someone who's about to start trying for a family, I'm guessing, the quality of life for kids growing up here is better from what I've seen so far in the UK!
Appreciate the comments guys and if anyone's in the NJ area and fancies a beer or a chat just shout!
The standard of living is WAY above what I'd have at home, as someone who's about to start trying for a family, I'm guessing, the quality of life for kids growing up here is better from what I've seen so far in the UK!
Appreciate the comments guys and if anyone's in the NJ area and fancies a beer or a chat just shout!
Boozy said:
Thanks for replying, I guess it's never going to be easy!
The standard of living is WAY above what I'd have at home, as someone who's about to start trying for a family, I'm guessing, the quality of life for kids growing up here is better from what I've seen so far in the UK!
Appreciate the comments guys and if anyone's in the NJ area and fancies a beer or a chat just shout!
Mike,The standard of living is WAY above what I'd have at home, as someone who's about to start trying for a family, I'm guessing, the quality of life for kids growing up here is better from what I've seen so far in the UK!
Appreciate the comments guys and if anyone's in the NJ area and fancies a beer or a chat just shout!
I'm in NJ but a bit far for a beer but if I find myself up your way I'll PM you.
With regard to your Wife getting permission to work. It might be a good idea for her to take the GED (US High school equiv) If she can stand up and walk in a straight line she'll pass. It is a requirement for many jobs. The alternative is to get any Exam results she has, send them to the British Consul for authenticity then on to a US college to assess their equivalency.
A lot of hassle and probably expensive, taking the GED is loose change.
If you intend staying for a while getting her job in a real estate office could save you thousands on house purchase.(if that's where you are heading)
American Collector car Insurance are hiring, not sure if they have an office up your way though.
English accent will be a BIG advantage when it comes to Telephone reception/sales type jobs.
Boozy - sent you an email.
As others have said, its often the little things I miss, dropping in to see my folks for half an hour, a decent fry up, warm beer etc. That said after two or three days back in UK I'm itching to leave again - sad to day but while I'll always be English I don't want to live in England again.
As others have said, its often the little things I miss, dropping in to see my folks for half an hour, a decent fry up, warm beer etc. That said after two or three days back in UK I'm itching to leave again - sad to day but while I'll always be English I don't want to live in England again.
I do miss a few things about the UK. Sense of irony and humour, Family, friends and decent twisty roads at 4am. Finding a decent pub here is a bit of challenge if "sports bars" aren't your thing, but i don't really drink or socialize via pubs anymore. I've met loads of people through college, work, friends and the odd coffee shop acquaintance. Most people here are friendly if totally ignorant about the rest of the world. Its not a USA wide phenomenon, just southern California attracts bodies not brains.
Homesick? 2-3 times maybe. Once you get out there and make an effort you'll be surprised at how quickly you begin to assimilate.
As others have said although I live in the USA I'll never consider myself American.
Homesick? 2-3 times maybe. Once you get out there and make an effort you'll be surprised at how quickly you begin to assimilate.
As others have said although I live in the USA I'll never consider myself American.
Fenix has it right. I was born and raised (until 11) in the US, then moved to Scotland where I lived till I was 17. In some respects I still consider Scotland home. While I don't miss the weather, I do miss the humor. I miss proper pubs as well. UK style pubs are hard to find here in the States, though I've found a couple that are similar.
After spending that last 10 years in San Diego though, I don't there are manys places in the world I'd much rather be.
After spending that last 10 years in San Diego though, I don't there are manys places in the world I'd much rather be.
GavinPearson said:
en years in and I do occasionally miss home. I miss the ability to just pop in to my parents' home for a cup of tea, or dinner, or helping them with DIY jobs. I miss the bits of Britain I know, some uniquely British food that Americans just don't seem to be able to replicate, and driving on British country lanes at pace.
However, my lifestyle here is noticeably better than it would be for the job I do, and even if what I was paid now was translated into pounds at the most favourable exchange rate I've seen while being here, I am still better off in the USA.
I think you need to figure out why you came to the USA and understand what makes you want to stay rather than what makes you want to go home.
I agree every word of that Gavin. With 5 years in Sweden and now 16 in the US I've spent more adult life abroad than home. I have seen that people who focus on what is missed from home are rarely happy. You really need to see the positive in wherever you are. There always are postives. Tghe constant negative for all of us is missing the family.However, my lifestyle here is noticeably better than it would be for the job I do, and even if what I was paid now was translated into pounds at the most favourable exchange rate I've seen while being here, I am still better off in the USA.
I think you need to figure out why you came to the USA and understand what makes you want to stay rather than what makes you want to go home.
GavinPearson said:
en years in and I do occasionally miss home. I miss the ability to just pop in to my parents' home for a cup of tea, or dinner, or helping them with DIY jobs. I miss the bits of Britain I know, some uniquely British food that Americans just don't seem to be able to replicate, and driving on British country lanes at pace.
However, my lifestyle here is noticeably better than it would be for the job I do, and even if what I was paid now was translated into pounds at the most favourable exchange rate I've seen while being here, I am still better off in the USA.
I think you need to figure out why you came to the USA and understand what makes you want to stay rather than what makes you want to go home.
This. I've even been here about the same length of time. Things like the internet make it a lot easier, you can stream radio 4 and get decent tv programs, there are even people who make good sausages. I really miss the cars, the US gets so few of the interesting ones. But the beer is great (as long as you avoid the mass produced stuff), petrol is cheap, and road trips can be very good fun.However, my lifestyle here is noticeably better than it would be for the job I do, and even if what I was paid now was translated into pounds at the most favourable exchange rate I've seen while being here, I am still better off in the USA.
I think you need to figure out why you came to the USA and understand what makes you want to stay rather than what makes you want to go home.
Public Footpaths and cool Summers. I've been here 10 years (NJ) and can't see going back now all four kids are well involved in education system here. Watch out for that though - college is expensive. In my town there are a few expats and we met them all early on which helped a lot, especially for the wife - it's easier for me as I had work to go to.
Have explored the US a lot - 44 States so far and some great roadtrips.
We still go back every Summer for six weeks - I can work from there - so we don't have to suffer the heat here and can get our fix of english country pubs.
Have explored the US a lot - 44 States so far and some great roadtrips.
We still go back every Summer for six weeks - I can work from there - so we don't have to suffer the heat here and can get our fix of english country pubs.
Dr JonboyG said:
The summers are going to kill me. San Diego was beautiful, but then we moved to Kentucky and now DC, and it's just unbearable. And (without drawing the climate change loonies into this thread) it's going going to get worse each year.
I know what you mean! I'm currently trying to make the most of this 'cool' spell - if only it would stay like this all summer. And where are you getting your sausages?
This guy make some great Haggis 
http://www.oatmealsavage.com/
And I have learned to make Lorne (square) sausage which rivals the stuff I could buy back home.
The local Irish shop (plenty all over the states) can supply proper bacon, and we have a shop locally (World Market - they are throughout the US) that stocks McVities, Cadbury's etc. Even our local supermarket (Jewel/Osco - Chicago based chain) stocks some of these in the "ethnic aisle"
Talking about assimilating, think of all the meaty goodness you get to grill (ribs, smoked brisket etc) these are new things that you have to get to grips with.
http://www.oatmealsavage.com/
And I have learned to make Lorne (square) sausage which rivals the stuff I could buy back home.
The local Irish shop (plenty all over the states) can supply proper bacon, and we have a shop locally (World Market - they are throughout the US) that stocks McVities, Cadbury's etc. Even our local supermarket (Jewel/Osco - Chicago based chain) stocks some of these in the "ethnic aisle"
Talking about assimilating, think of all the meaty goodness you get to grill (ribs, smoked brisket etc) these are new things that you have to get to grips with.
Edited by kilty2 on Wednesday 15th June 04:08
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