The Truth about Norwich very funny

[Racingdude009]

Norwich ( pronounced Naaaaaaridge ) in the southeast of England was invented in 1923 and is kept in Norfolk where it has lived for the past 83 years.

Norwich has a population of approximately 2500 of which 2438 are related to each other and the rest are classed as Furriners who have decided to settle in Norwich from beyond the great Horizon.

Many people still beleive that if you travel past Theford (The Great Horizon) you will fall off the edge of the world and be devoured by DELIA the Great Star Goat.

Norwich was built by Nicholas Parsons, a man of the cloth for somewhere to keep his racing pigeons. The project, however, soon grew and rapidly became a sprawling city filled with "Pointless Super Heroes"

These Include: (if you're from norwich you WILL know these people!!)



THE PUPPET MASTER

Special Ability: Hypno Puppets that stun and mesmerise passers by with their inane jumping up and down to Des O Connor Cd's. He is actually a multi-millionaire, having left his successful career as a merchant banker to "give something back to the people"



FLUTE MAN

Special ability: Plays a flute at ranges far beyond those of the human ear Unfortunately the ones that are in the range of the human ear are vastly out of tune.



BAG WOMAN

Special Ability: Knockout BO Has a huge array of technical gadgetry hidden away in her shopping trolley full of various, mysterious bags.



MARIGOLD

Special Ability: Traffic Direction Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a flourescent JAcket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Norwich Union Insurance Department.



THE INCREDIBLE MARKET TWINS

Special Ability: Flower Selling ALthough conceived during a radioactive storm and genetically altered to look identical, these dynamic duo are far from it. Dressed in their costumes, Green & yellow for one, Blue & White for another, these colourful fengibbons are anything but identical.


RADIO MAN

This remarkable chap loves his sport so much he's a wannabee commentator, also known to be a bit of a Karaoke king, using not a microphone but an old 1970's transistor radio glued to one ear, you've gotta love this guy, who provides entertainment when waiting for a bus outside the central big 'D' department store.


Vocabulary
Here are some useful Norwich phrases and words:

Naarigde Yoonyun - Major Norfolk and Sri-Lankan employer

Thang Kyer - Spoken at high speed, used by Norfolk shop assistants when accepting money.

How’re yer getting arn buh? - Norfolk greeting

Rup Bah - Variation on the above

Hair - Here

Shicagoo’s - Nightspot on Prince of Wales Road, Norwich

Bare - Sold by the pint in Shicagoo’s

Is that roight? - Comment to show that attention is being paid to the speaker

Ass a Jook - I’m just kidding

Khazi - Suburb on the western edge of Narridge

Tross - Suburb on the southside of Narridge

Windam - Small town south of Narridge (Sensible abbreviation of it’s proper name : Wymundimunidundim)

Loose-tarfed - East coast fishing port

Card - Traditionally eaten with chips, might well have been caught off Loose-tarfed

KooDee - Discount shop at the top of St Stephens, Norwich

Hum Base - DIY store

Fooze - Electrical component on sale at Hum Base

Fool - Petrol or Diesel

Drive you steady bor - please drive with more care

Gu tehec buh - my, how surprising

Stoop ud - Term applied to very silly people

Gatoo - Sticky chocolate cake

Foo too or Fota - Get these developed at Boots

Sproight - Fizzy lemon drink

Boost - To Brag about ones achievements

Jargon - Like running, but at a more leisurely pace

Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Morning

Ar ya orrite, bor Good Afternoon

Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Evening

Hay ya gittin arn tagether? - Hello

Yow siller owld fule - Comment made to someone displaying “backward” tendancies

How fer ar ya doin' bor? - How are you?

Loight arse - Lighthouse

Haysbra (Happisburgh) – Coastal village with a loight arse

Hunstan - Hunstanton – Coastal village

Furriners - People who come from anywhere outside of Thetford

Thas a rumman - Not quite up to scratch

Blast Bor, yow git a ding-a-tha-lug - I’m going to hit you now

Fare t' middlin - I’m doing quite well

Bishy Barny Bee - A Ladybird

Thas a Bit on the Huh - That's a bit wonky/uneven

Traa'er - a farming vehicle

dicka - horse

ha' yer farver gorra dicka, bor? - does your father own a horse

cumbine airvista - an agricultural vehicle

carra rud - a place where narj people go to watch their football team lose

ur day - to day

wot yoo up to urday - what are you doing today

ouver hair / ouver ere - im over here

i / yoo/ ee/ shee gooo - i/ you / hee/ she went to/ goes to

ci'ee - as in naaarch ci'ee a place for shopping

noo idare - no idea/ don't know

gunna - going to

Lully ole jarb (Lovely old job) = Excellent

[simpo two]

I like Jo Brand's description of Norfolk:


'Darwin's waiting room'

[rich 36]

'Fengibbons'

bloody well done chap,
at last.....





someone speaks out

[iluvmercs]

Read that before someone, and still as funny

Like the Jo Brand quote, too

Darren

[bill bob]

Thas a rumman - Not quite up to scratch

Ahh bor, an I can tell yoo wot a rumman is tooo. Thas a hegehog, thas what that is. Two thousand pricks an only one arse hole. If that int a rumman, I don't know what is.

Bill Bob

[eccles]

living just passed Thetford, i can confirm that you will fall off the edge of the world.

[busta]

My current favourites:

'Dirt dirt regula?' (Does it do it often?)

'Tha' dew dunt it'. (Its does doesn't it)

'On tha huh' (diagonal)

and the classic 'ay ya winnin?'

[Bacardi]

busta said:

'On tha huh' (diagonal)
'

Must admit I do use that one but then both my parents are from Norfolk (and no they weren't related!).

Growing up, through my teenage years, I used to hate visiting the grandparents as Norfolk seemed to be the back end of nowhere and about 100 years behind the times. Became even worse as I travelled to places like New York. Happily, as I've gotten older, I have fallen in love with the county and dialect. If it appears a little behind the times then it's part of its charm. People in Norfolk are friendlier too.

If we're going to 'mardle' here's a few phrases I like:

'I shant half set lite to him.'

'Go to Swaffham to dew a days troshin' for nothin', that wud be suffin' wunt it bor (troshin' = thrashing, or threshing, machine)

'Dew yew don't do that.'

For those who like the Norfolk dialect I'd recommend The Boy John Letters:

www.mousehold-press.co.uk/detail_boy_john.html

Old fashioned rural humour, yet charming.

and some interesting stuff here:

www.norfolkdialect.com

with some sound files like this:

www.norfolkdialect.com/skipperred.wav

[mark r skinner]

[roosevelt]

fyi Dicka (Dickey) = Donkey, not Horse
What's tha difference tho' bor?

[juliann]

A close friend is a neurologist. When they started working at a large East Anglian hospital, they couldn't understand some of the patient notes - in particular, where a record of a GCS score was made, there was sometime NFN written in afterwards. (Glasgow Coma Scale - to ascertain someones level of consciousness). It turned out that NFN stood for 'Normal For Norfolk' - an explanation of why some levels of consciousness weren't quite as high as they could have been.....allegedly

[BigGriff]

I prefer the sign above the Tourist Information Centre in Norwich; 'Norwich, a city coming into it's own'.

[eccles]

rich 36 said:

'Fengibbons'

bloody well done chap,
at last.....





someone speaks out

i prefer 'Fenbillies' (cue sounds of duelling banjos)

[greenlandy]

Racingdude009 said:

MARIGOLD

Special Ability: Traffic Direction Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a flourescent JAcket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Norwich Union Insurance Department.

A real hero

[rcarr]

Much like Parliamo Glasgow:

www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/aboutus/wirelesstoweb/decades/clip_display.shtml?decade=50s&clip_name=parliamo_glasgow&size=a&media_type=video

[simpo two]

BigGriff said:

I prefer the sign above the Tourist Information Centre in Norwich; 'Norwich, a city coming into it's own'.

You're right; not many people would spot the incorrect apostrophe!

[cqueen]

Ha I actually know those people hes talking about (I don't mean personally, I've seen them around Norwich).

[jasandjules]

My old neighbours came from that area, we used to love talking to them just to hear the accent.

They often went boik 'en, which we eventually worked out meant they had bikes!

[Racingdude009]

BigGriff said:

I prefer the sign above the Tourist Information Centre in Norwich; 'Norwich, a city coming into it's own'.

Never a more true word said