To the chav......
Discussion
To the chav who thought his sh***y clapped out mota was a match for my car in the handling stakes this morning because he has a ridiculous spoiler, blacked out windows and a baked bean can exhaust;
Mate, no chance - you cannot drive!
And if you try that again when you come up behind me .......
Zebra
Mate, no chance - you cannot drive!
And if you try that again when you come up behind me .......
Zebra
I've calmed down now.
I was only driving along minding my own business and well within the speed limit when this fekking chav blast up behind me and instead of passing me glues himself to the rear of the car and then begins flashing his lights.
At first I thought it was someone I knew dicking about, however mates I've got that drive mentally I can name on 8 hands and that includes Jimbo, but they're all perfectly safe and mature drivers.
Then I realise he's challenging me to a race. Oh for fekks sake?
So I didn't change my speed and continued along until I turned right off Scotswood Road, where he followed me. At this point I set off thinking 'lets see how well your car corners then matey?' Well, not very well as he slid it at the first corner - after a mile or so, I couldn't see him having been through some twisty sections [well within the speed limit, obviously].
I get to the lights just beyond Bristol Street Motors and then I see him coming up again but fortunately with two cars between us, after which he disappeared.
The bit that got me so worked up was the unprovoked challenge and the fact that his crap car nearly went straight into the back of mine. If he had clipped the p+j then I'd be banged up right now for tearing him a new ar5eh0le.
........if I could remember the number plate, then it would be a case of picking up the phone and "hello, ..... yes Bobfather, its zebra.......... there's a little favour I could do with........, yeah, photographic evidence would be welcomed...."
I was only driving along minding my own business and well within the speed limit when this fekking chav blast up behind me and instead of passing me glues himself to the rear of the car and then begins flashing his lights.
At first I thought it was someone I knew dicking about, however mates I've got that drive mentally I can name on 8 hands and that includes Jimbo, but they're all perfectly safe and mature drivers.
Then I realise he's challenging me to a race. Oh for fekks sake?
So I didn't change my speed and continued along until I turned right off Scotswood Road, where he followed me. At this point I set off thinking 'lets see how well your car corners then matey?' Well, not very well as he slid it at the first corner - after a mile or so, I couldn't see him having been through some twisty sections [well within the speed limit, obviously].
I get to the lights just beyond Bristol Street Motors and then I see him coming up again but fortunately with two cars between us, after which he disappeared.
The bit that got me so worked up was the unprovoked challenge and the fact that his crap car nearly went straight into the back of mine. If he had clipped the p+j then I'd be banged up right now for tearing him a new ar5eh0le.
........if I could remember the number plate, then it would be a case of picking up the phone and "hello, ..... yes Bobfather, its zebra.......... there's a little favour I could do with........, yeah, photographic evidence would be welcomed...."
zebra said:
........if I could remember the number plate, then it would be a case of picking up the phone and "hello, ..... yes Bobfather, its zebra.......... there's a little favour I could do with........, yeah, photographic evidence would be welcomed...."
Charles, No favours needed mate. The act of stomping on a chav is pleasure enough for me. Would you prefer a spoiler-ectomy or a tailpipe enema? Of course driver castration will be free as usual.
the bobfather said:
zebra said:
........if I could remember the number plate, then it would be a case of picking up the phone and "hello, ..... yes Bobfather, its zebra.......... there's a little favour I could do with........, yeah, photographic evidence would be welcomed...."
Charles, No favours needed mate. The act of stomping on a chav is pleasure enough for me. Would you prefer a spoiler-ectomy or a tailpipe enema? Of course driver castration will be free as usual.
Ooooooh, it's like being a kid in the sweet shop; which one do I go for?
Spoiler-ectomy - painful yet highly amusing to watch
Tail-pipe enema - which the added bonus of giving ecellent fart resonance for many years to come.
Hang it all Bobfather, I'll take the driver castration, but would like to pay extra so that he can fed his bits!
The added bonus to driver castration for younger PH viewers, is that it prevents procreation and the cyclic nature of further chav production - whoopee!
Zebs!
bomb said:
Heavy Breathing..............??
I'm coming hyem the neet, after 3 x long weeks away.
OOOhhhhhh it'll be great to see my loved one again. Can't wait to 'warm her up' and give her a damn good thrashing.
I'll see Mrs Bomb too !!
I'm coming hyem the neet, after 3 x long weeks away.
OOOhhhhhh it'll be great to see my loved one again. Can't wait to 'warm her up' and give her a damn good thrashing.
I'll see Mrs Bomb too !!
I am sooooooo printing this out to show mrs bomb!
zebby
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