Ridiculous excuses
Discussion
There is another thread that asks this question, but because of the sad subject matter there's only one (or kinda two but I won't include that) actual response to the question, even though it's 4 pages long. So I thought let's keep this one light hearted cause it's a fun question.
Question:
Question:
LunarOne said:
It makes me wonder what stupid or unbelievable excuses or alibis our police and ex-police members have had to listen to, and whether any of them turned out to be true in the end.
Fun answer:Marcellus said:
I once did jury service and the defendant claimed that he was out on a test drive with the buyer of his car driving throughout.
The chase was over half an hour long all with police dashcam, clearly only one head visible on the car being chased (his defence was that he reclined his seat as he was relaxed and pleased he’d sold his car)
The dashcam footage shows him under steering around a corner head on into a bus coming the other way.
He was filmed being cut out of the drivers side (his defence was that the driver jumped out and as his door was mangled he tried to get out of the drivers side, he couldn’t explain why his legs were trapped or seat belt on though)
(Fortunately no one other than the defendant was seriously hurt)
He was found guilty after about 2 minutes in the jury room, but we held out for sandwiches to give the appearance on a considered verdict.
What are your favourite ridiculous excuses? The chase was over half an hour long all with police dashcam, clearly only one head visible on the car being chased (his defence was that he reclined his seat as he was relaxed and pleased he’d sold his car)
The dashcam footage shows him under steering around a corner head on into a bus coming the other way.
He was filmed being cut out of the drivers side (his defence was that the driver jumped out and as his door was mangled he tried to get out of the drivers side, he couldn’t explain why his legs were trapped or seat belt on though)
(Fortunately no one other than the defendant was seriously hurt)
He was found guilty after about 2 minutes in the jury room, but we held out for sandwiches to give the appearance on a considered verdict.
“Road safety campaigners have expressed shock at a court ruling which cleared a police constable, who drove at 159mph while "familiarising himself" with a patrol car, of dangerous driving and speeding.”
“Pc Mark Milton, from Telford, Shropshire, was acquitted of the charges by a district judge sitting at Ludlow Magistrates' Court who criticised the decision to bring a prosecution against the officer. Judge Bruce Morgan said it was necessary for officers like Pc Milton, who qualified as a Grade I advanced driver in 1995, to practise their skills, but expressed deep concern at the force's "total lack of policy" about when and where this should take place. 'Like concert pianists' The judge described the 38-year-old, from Bratton, as the "creme de la creme" of police drivers and likened the level of training required to perform properly as that undertaken by concert pianists.”
“Pc Milton was recorded travelling at 159mph on the M54 near Telford by an on-board video camera in the early hours of December 5, 2003. The officer, who was also clocked travelling at 120mph in a 60mph zone and at more than 60mph in a 30mph zone, told the court at a previous hearing that he had taken the newly-commissioned, unmarked 3.2-litre GSI Vauxhall Vectra on to the road to assess its capabilities. Giving his verdicts, Judge Morgan said he accepted Pc Milton had driven at "eye-watering" speeds while on duty, but condemned the force policy as one of "do your own thing". He added: "I can't help but see the irony that those that brought this prosecution are those very people who have purchased cars that go at this speed and paid for him (the defendant) to go to learn to drive at these speeds. "This is most surely a remarkable state of affairs. The situation is simply not satisfactory for the police officers concerned, or for the public. "At the end of the day, those who get their (advanced level driving) certificates are the creme de la creme of police drivers. They are simply the best the West Mercia force has to offer. "They should know the car in which they are driving, they should be able to familiarise themselves with it,"
“Pc Mark Milton, from Telford, Shropshire, was acquitted of the charges by a district judge sitting at Ludlow Magistrates' Court who criticised the decision to bring a prosecution against the officer. Judge Bruce Morgan said it was necessary for officers like Pc Milton, who qualified as a Grade I advanced driver in 1995, to practise their skills, but expressed deep concern at the force's "total lack of policy" about when and where this should take place. 'Like concert pianists' The judge described the 38-year-old, from Bratton, as the "creme de la creme" of police drivers and likened the level of training required to perform properly as that undertaken by concert pianists.”
“Pc Milton was recorded travelling at 159mph on the M54 near Telford by an on-board video camera in the early hours of December 5, 2003. The officer, who was also clocked travelling at 120mph in a 60mph zone and at more than 60mph in a 30mph zone, told the court at a previous hearing that he had taken the newly-commissioned, unmarked 3.2-litre GSI Vauxhall Vectra on to the road to assess its capabilities. Giving his verdicts, Judge Morgan said he accepted Pc Milton had driven at "eye-watering" speeds while on duty, but condemned the force policy as one of "do your own thing". He added: "I can't help but see the irony that those that brought this prosecution are those very people who have purchased cars that go at this speed and paid for him (the defendant) to go to learn to drive at these speeds. "This is most surely a remarkable state of affairs. The situation is simply not satisfactory for the police officers concerned, or for the public. "At the end of the day, those who get their (advanced level driving) certificates are the creme de la creme of police drivers. They are simply the best the West Mercia force has to offer. "They should know the car in which they are driving, they should be able to familiarise themselves with it,"
When I did jury duty, the accused in one of the cases came in very dramatically and slowly on a pair of crutches to emphasise that he was injured and in a lot of pain and the large quantity of drugs he was found to be in possession of by the police when he was arrested were medicinal and for personal use only to help with the pain.
Spotted the same chap at the lunch time recess walking crutchless into town at a fair old pace to buy some food!
Chris
Spotted the same chap at the lunch time recess walking crutchless into town at a fair old pace to buy some food!
Chris
ScoobyChris said:
When I did jury duty, the accused in one of the cases came in very dramatically and slowly on a pair of crutches to emphasise that he was injured and in a lot of pain and the large quantity of drugs he was found to be in possession of by the police when he was arrested were medicinal and for personal use only to help with the pain.
Spotted the same chap at the lunch time recess walking crutchless into town at a fair old pace to buy some food!
Chris
I had a similar experience whilst on jury service. A female witness who claimed not to be able to speak English and for whom a translator was provided very hesitantly gave evidence which essentially amounted to no more than I am new to your country, I understand nothing and I saw nothing. I popped out of the court building at lunchtime and the same witness was outside having a fag and talking away ten to the dozen like the archetypal born and bred, cor blimey gov, east end washer woman cockney with no discernible trace of a foreign accent. Spotted the same chap at the lunch time recess walking crutchless into town at a fair old pace to buy some food!
Chris
Edited by siremoon on Wednesday 17th July 07:54
t-house." *I dealt with a road accident years ago with the driver trapped in the drivers seat, as the head on collision had destroyed the front of the car.
On arriving i recognised the driver as a young member of our local "caravan club" who was disqualified from driving.
His excuse "to be sure sir i was not driving, i was sat in the back seat and the force of the collision catapulted me into the drivers seat" -
On arriving i recognised the driver as a young member of our local "caravan club" who was disqualified from driving.
His excuse "to be sure sir i was not driving, i was sat in the back seat and the force of the collision catapulted me into the drivers seat" -
I think it was a British Touring Car meeting at Brands Hatch in 1995. About 100 marshals were gathered at the bottom of the Race Control block, attending the morning briefing by the Clerk of the Course, and Derek Warwick arrived at the back of the crowd, riding pillion on a motor scooter with a large briefcase across his lap. The CotC immediately was presented with the backs of 100 heads as we all watched this interesting spectacle.
As Derek got off the bike a voice called out, ‘What have you got in the briefcase, Derek?’
Before he could answer there was another shout, ‘It’s his list of excuses!’
As Derek got off the bike a voice called out, ‘What have you got in the briefcase, Derek?’
Before he could answer there was another shout, ‘It’s his list of excuses!’
Edited by Roofless Toothless on Wednesday 17th July 15:56
So many...
Speeding because I don't want my dog to poo in the car (stop and let them out?).
Late for a driver awareness course...
Caught using the phone to read/reply from a text saying that there was an unmarked car at the end of their road so be careful not to speed (to be fair she wasn't speeding).
Drug drive...I picked my nose earlier in the car and ate it. That's why ill be over for coke.
Speeding to get away from the car that was following them and driving dangerously slow on the dual carriageway.
Speeding because I don't want my dog to poo in the car (stop and let them out?).
Late for a driver awareness course...
Caught using the phone to read/reply from a text saying that there was an unmarked car at the end of their road so be careful not to speed (to be fair she wasn't speeding).
Drug drive...I picked my nose earlier in the car and ate it. That's why ill be over for coke.
Speeding to get away from the car that was following them and driving dangerously slow on the dual carriageway.
Who remembers waaay back Sir Gerald Nabarro getting done for some sort of motoring offence, and claiming in court that it was his (female) secretary was driving. I think it was one of the eye witnesses that commented that she had a pretty good moustache then !The magistrates still believed him though Touch of the Old Pals act ?
covboy said:
Who remembers waaay back Sir Gerald Nabarro getting done for some sort of motoring offence, and claiming in court that it was his (female) secretary was driving. I think it was one of the eye witnesses that commented that she had a pretty good moustache then !The magistrates still believed him though Touch of the Old Pals act ?
As long as the state gets its money, it's happy.I do recall though my old copy of I-Spy Car Numbers showing a car with a plate 'NAB 1' (or was it NAB 21?) and commenting that it belonged to Gerald Nabarro. That's all I know of him!
Simpo Two said:
As long as the state gets its money, it's happy.
I do recall though my old copy of I-Spy Car Numbers showing a car with a plate 'NAB 1' (or was it NAB 21?) and commenting that it belonged to Gerald Nabarro. That's all I know of him!
A bit of background here https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/dec/27/hamilto...I do recall though my old copy of I-Spy Car Numbers showing a car with a plate 'NAB 1' (or was it NAB 21?) and commenting that it belonged to Gerald Nabarro. That's all I know of him!
When my other half was in late stage labour and we'd just been told there was no beds available in South Yorkshire (after being induced) and i'd have to take her to Lincolnshire I drove all the way at 160mph.
I assumed I'd be pulled over or get caught on a camera but I didn't. I wondered what the copper that pulled me over would do if it did happen.
I guessed anything from an escort to a day in court.
We made it with 40 mins to spare and I don't regret speeding for a second.
Serving/retired coppers must have come across that scenario before.
I assumed I'd be pulled over or get caught on a camera but I didn't. I wondered what the copper that pulled me over would do if it did happen.
I guessed anything from an escort to a day in court.
We made it with 40 mins to spare and I don't regret speeding for a second.
Serving/retired coppers must have come across that scenario before.
covboy said:
A bit of background here https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/dec/27/hamilto...
For a better-balanced, less vitriolic biography: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_NabarroIt took them until 1999 to think up the story; must have been a slack news day.
Long story short.
95 on M6 heading south, I was pulled & stated (had paperwork to prove) that I was in the Navy & on Christmas duties and needed to be in Portsmouth for 1pm.
Was asked how fast will she go sir?
I said no idea but I was doing 95 to try to get there in time.
Was asked if you do 95 all the way down the M6 would I get there in time?
I said not sure but it will certainly help.
He says, follow me then.
Not quite an excuse but even though I had the paperwork to back up my claim, it didn't actually matter if I was a bit late as I was doing 3 days on 3 days off with my mate.
95 on M6 heading south, I was pulled & stated (had paperwork to prove) that I was in the Navy & on Christmas duties and needed to be in Portsmouth for 1pm.
Was asked how fast will she go sir?
I said no idea but I was doing 95 to try to get there in time.
Was asked if you do 95 all the way down the M6 would I get there in time?
I said not sure but it will certainly help.
He says, follow me then.
Not quite an excuse but even though I had the paperwork to back up my claim, it didn't actually matter if I was a bit late as I was doing 3 days on 3 days off with my mate.
E-bmw said:
Long story short.
95 on M6 heading south, I was pulled & stated (had paperwork to prove) that I was in the Navy & on Christmas duties and needed to be in Portsmouth for 1pm.
Was asked how fast will she go sir?
I said no idea but I was doing 95 to try to get there in time.
Was asked if you do 95 all the way down the M6 would I get there in time?
I said not sure but it will certainly help.
He says, follow me then.
Not quite an excuse but even though I had the paperwork to back up my claim, it didn't actually matter if I was a bit late as I was doing 3 days on 3 days off with my mate.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5459793/Soldier-escapes-driving-ban-despite-caught-130mph.html95 on M6 heading south, I was pulled & stated (had paperwork to prove) that I was in the Navy & on Christmas duties and needed to be in Portsmouth for 1pm.
Was asked how fast will she go sir?
I said no idea but I was doing 95 to try to get there in time.
Was asked if you do 95 all the way down the M6 would I get there in time?
I said not sure but it will certainly help.
He says, follow me then.
Not quite an excuse but even though I had the paperwork to back up my claim, it didn't actually matter if I was a bit late as I was doing 3 days on 3 days off with my mate.
My mate told a whopper about needing his licence for a Falklands tour and they believed it.
Not sure why the link doesn't work. Knowing him and a DB9 he won't have been doing 130.
Unlit section of the M1 at night. A black BMW with as it turned out a completely illegal set of tints was being driven northbound completely without any lights being lit. Not possible to determine who or how many occupants were travelling.
On winding down the heavily tinted door window the driver's very first words were, "You've only stopped me because I'm black"
On winding down the heavily tinted door window the driver's very first words were, "You've only stopped me because I'm black"
ChocolateFrog said:
When my other half was in late stage labour and we'd just been told there was no beds available in South Yorkshire (after being induced) and i'd have to take her to Lincolnshire I drove all the way at 160mph.
I assumed I'd be pulled over or get caught on a camera but I didn't. I wondered what the copper that pulled me over would do if it did happen.
I guessed anything from an escort to a day in court.
We made it with 40 mins to spare and I don't regret speeding for a second.
Serving/retired coppers must have come across that scenario before.
If it was me that stopped you...report to court. Not many trips to hospital for someone in labour with an ambulance are done on blue lights. If it was that much of an emergency they would have sorted one out for you. I assumed I'd be pulled over or get caught on a camera but I didn't. I wondered what the copper that pulled me over would do if it did happen.
I guessed anything from an escort to a day in court.
We made it with 40 mins to spare and I don't regret speeding for a second.
Serving/retired coppers must have come across that scenario before.
LosingGrip said:
ChocolateFrog said:
When my other half was in late stage labour and we'd just been told there was no beds available in South Yorkshire (after being induced) and i'd have to take her to Lincolnshire I drove all the way at 160mph.
I assumed I'd be pulled over or get caught on a camera but I didn't. I wondered what the copper that pulled me over would do if it did happen.
I guessed anything from an escort to a day in court.
We made it with 40 mins to spare and I don't regret speeding for a second.
Serving/retired coppers must have come across that scenario before.
If it was me that stopped you...report to court. Not many trips to hospital for someone in labour with an ambulance are done on blue lights. If it was that much of an emergency they would have sorted one out for you. I assumed I'd be pulled over or get caught on a camera but I didn't. I wondered what the copper that pulled me over would do if it did happen.
I guessed anything from an escort to a day in court.
We made it with 40 mins to spare and I don't regret speeding for a second.
Serving/retired coppers must have come across that scenario before.
It was our own fault we'd waited until the contractions were 2 mins apart (like wed been told) until phoning up to come in only to be told the nearest 5 or 6 hospitals had no beds. An ambulance would have been hours anyway.
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