Am I an international child abductor??

[Petrus1983]

I've found myself in a slightly messy situation and will try and keep it as simple as possible.

I have a son who mostly lives in America but spends significant amounts of holiday time with me. 2019/2020 Christmas was my time with him. Back in July ('19) when I dropped him off I made his mother aware that his US passport was due for renewal to which she replied she'd sort it. When it came to arranging the Christmas dates rather than making life easy regarding confirming the Christmas dates she made it a nightmare to the point of needing a US judge to tell her to sort herself out (and award me the ability to request she reimburses me for the extra flight costs due to waiting for so long, which I didn't do). Roll on December when I go to pick him up and she informs me that she's just sent off for the US passport and she'll send it to me in the UK before my return date. This didn't happen, we tried in vain to get an emergency passport from the Embassy which I bore all the costs for and as such he's still here with me. We've lost our flights and she's saying she's not prepared to a) replace the flights, b) come and get him. She's now saying that this is international child abduction! Does anyone have any advice on how I can handle this? Also things like this keep happening and it's ridiculously tiring.

[Tyre Smoke]

I am not an expert (obviously, this is a motoring forum) in child abduction, but I would suggest as long as you have all the relevent paperwork and documented conversations regarding his passport and his mother's lack of compliance, then you are doing all you can.

Does your son have dual UK/US nationality or just US?

Would there be an option for him to travel on a UK passport? That way you (assuming you are a UK citizen) would have a bit more control over his future travel arrangements.

[RedWhiteMonkey]

Sounds nasty. You need a lawyer specialising in family and international law, sorry but its probably going to be costly.

[Petrus1983]

He's dual nationality and travelled to the UK on his British passport. The US authorities won't allow his to return without a valid US passport.

[Petrus1983]

RedWhiteMonkey said:

Sounds nasty. You need a lawyer specialising in family and international law, sorry but its probably going to be costly.

I know - I was hoping that someone on here may have a glimmer of knowledge first.

[Tyre Smoke]

Forgive me for saying this, but his mother sounds like a right bag of st. She is using her son as a weapon to cause you grief. In reality, she's messing with his head. How old is your son?

[Petrus1983]

She's truly awful and it's really impacted our Christmas. He's 5.

I'm just scrawling through the Hague convention but it's been written by lawyers, for lawyers!

[Tyre Smoke]

Find a local solicitor that will give you some advice. There are plenty that do this 'Ask a legal expert' thing where you get an hour of the solicitor's time for a fixed fee - in my case it was £99.00. They will then either put you in touch with someone who can help or can help you themselves.

I'm assuming the Embassy can't do anything/much? Perhaps speak to someone there and let them know you are NOT holding your child against their wishes, but do actually want to repatriate him (I'm guessing this is actually rubbish and the reality is you would rather he stayed here with you) but are unable due to his mother's lack of dilligence in obtaining a US passport for him.

[Petrus1983]

Good advice Tyre Smoke regarding letting the Embassy there know.

Yep, would obviously love him to stay and he desperately doesn't want to go - however some people respect court orders and the law! I guess being from a certain State in America makes you immune.

[Tyre Smoke]

Might also be worth logging a call via 101 to the police and explain to them that you are desperately trying to comply with repatriating your son, but are unable to because of a lack of passport. If you get a log number from them, it will also illustrate your willingness to comply.

This might be waaaaay too soon, but you might want to think about schooling. If this drags on for any length of time, your son is legally required to attend school. But that could be viewed in two ways, one you are trying to do the best for your son or that you have indeed decided to settle him here in the UK.

Keep us posted.

[Petrus1983]

Thanks.

I've contacted his school in America and they've sent over some things to keep him busy and current with the curriculum.

[hutchst]

Tell her you're considering applying here for full custody, and see how quickly his new passport appears.

Unless, of course, she really doesn't want him. In which case he will definitely be better off here with you.

[Psycho Warren]

Its not child abduction if its physically impossible for him to return, which without a US passport is the case. She can claim what she want and may well cause you loads of aggro but once the facts come out you would be fine.

[Tyre Smoke]

hutchst said:

Tell her you're considering applying here for full custody, and see how quickly his new passport appears.

Unless, of course, she really doesn't want him. In which case he will definitely be better off here with you.

This is good advice.

[Lt. Coulomb]

Tell her to fk off.

[Pothole]

Tyre Smoke said:

Might also be worth logging a call via 101 to the police and explain to them that you are desperately trying to comply with repatriating your son, but are unable to because of a lack of passport. If you get a log number from them, it will also illustrate your willingness to comply.

This might be waaaaay too soon, but you might want to think about schooling. If this drags on for any length of time, your son is legally required to attend school. But that could be viewed in two ways, one you are trying to do the best for your son or that you have indeed decided to settle him here in the UK.

Keep us posted.

I wouldn't bother. The call handler won't know WTF he's talking about and the log will likely hold little weight in any case

[Fab32]

I would suggested some reading around Brussels 2 revised would be a good idea.

What outcome do you want? keep him here or find a way to send him back?

There is obviously a lot more to this and you are going to need specialist legal advise. If you speak to a local family law solicitor they will be able to ask a chambers for advice from a barrister, it's not going to be cheap.

[eldar]

Tyre Smoke said:

hutchst said:

Tell her you're considering applying here for full custody, and see how quickly his new passport appears.

Unless, of course, she really doesn't want him. In which case he will definitely be better off here with you.

This is good advice.

Could well be. At the very least it should cause some action.

[GCH]

Petrus1983 said:

He's dual nationality and travelled to the UK on his British passport. The US authorities won't allow his to return without a valid US passport.

One option would be fly to, say, Toronto, then enter via a land border.
They will moan (a lot) and will require a lengthy trip to secondary, but ultimately once they verify he is a US citizen, which they have the means to do, he cannot be refused admission to the US.

[chml]

Petrus1983 said:

I've found myself in a slightly messy situation and will try and keep it as simple as possible.

I have a son who mostly lives in America but spends significant amounts of holiday time with me. 2019/2020 Christmas was my time with him. Back in July ('19) when I dropped him off I made his mother aware that his US passport was due for renewal to which she replied she'd sort it. When it came to arranging the Christmas dates rather than making life easy regarding confirming the Christmas dates she made it a nightmare to the point of needing a US judge to tell her to sort herself out (and award me the ability to request she reimburses me for the extra flight costs due to waiting for so long, which I didn't do). Roll on December when I go to pick him up and she informs me that she's just sent off for the US passport and she'll send it to me in the UK before my return date. This didn't happen, we tried in vain to get an emergency passport from the Embassy which I bore all the costs for and as such he's still here with me. We've lost our flights and she's saying she's not prepared to a) replace the flights, b) come and get him. She's now saying that this is international child abduction! Does anyone have any advice on how I can handle this? Also things like this keep happening and it's ridiculously tiring.

Did you have representation for the US proceedings, if so, I would be contacting that lawyer.